Worry, Anxiety, and Flowers

Worry, Anxiety and Flowers

I spend an inordinate thinking about a lot of things. Some of this thinking becomes worry and anxiety.  I am masterful in creating situations to worry about and become anxious. It seems when I am inactive I become my mind becomes populated by various scenarios regarding financial insecurity, my recent health issues, my favorite sports teams, job issues, the future of our nation, my mother, and worries about my children's future and on and on.  I guess I could be like the Thinker, but not in as well preserved. 

DOUBT

In today's first reading the words "my Lord has forgotten me" resonate well with a sometimes doubter like myself. With life comes trials and tribulations, some quite intense that can cause me wonder where is God. 

I have difficulties with the idea that God tests me and my faith. There are plenty of forums and literature that abound with both the question of testing as well as the answers. I have found that the idea that God is always there for us when life's trials overtake us is comforting. Likewise I think that the alternative of not facing the trials but running to things that comfort me and numb me from pain is actually running from God.

I have used the words "where is God" when certain faced with situations that seem to be spinning out of control. Likewise when mired in my own selfish ways and want God to cure me of a deep seeded defect, but not willing to take the step towards God, similar words will come from my mouth.

ANXIETY

Jesus refers to anxiety and worry in the Gospel today saying "do not worry about you life."(MT 6:25)  However, what is quite poignant is what he says previously about money in that you cannot serve both your material needs and God equally.  Money for me has been a constant thorn in my side even as I have a well paying job and live comfortably. In a way I am quite ashamed of these worries about tuition, medical bills, car repairs etc. I am quite aware that others are in much more need than myself. All I have to do is drive to work or interact with those I serve. 

I now see that these anxieties have been a platform for me to break out my shell and see the world suffering around me. As I concentrate on serving God, these financial anxieties tend to dissipate. Things seem to take care of themselves fulfilling the answer Jesus gives later in that "Your heavenly Father knows you need them all." (MT 6:32) 

For myself it is good to periodically review how these worries and anxieties have been answered. God has taken care of tuition needs in ways not even imagined. Other issues quickly slip into the abyss. Amazing how this happens.

OF FLOWERS AND CLOTHES

"Flowers do not work or spin." (MT 6:28)  I had to think about this for a while.  Wild flowers originate from seed, depend on water and a nutrient rich soil. They spring up and are displayed beautifully along the roadside hills and even in the desert. They are indeed a creation of God.  

Likewise if I take the image of a flower wilting, I can also see that this is what anxiety and worry does to me. It is no longer a image of beauty as the life has been sucked out of it.

If I take this example and fully depend on God for those things I really need then I become much like that beautiful flower. I radiate the life that God has provided me with. 

I like clothes and food. I like to appear dressed well at work, to look professional.  I find that I have too many dress shirts and ties. Maybe it is time to spread the wealth. Here I find myself identified with the pagans, worrying about how I look when God knows me in and out. 

TRUST

In the end the message is about trust. Do I trust in God to take care of me this day and not worry about the next major project or medical procedure?  Can I allow God to take me by the hand and guide me down the path which he has set forth for me?  Can I let go of the desire to control others around me?

Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you.