Lord I am Not Worthy ...

As I reflect on today's reading, the one that struck me the most was from Deuteronomy.  Many people have suffered afflictions or endured hardship and as such have overcome these trials by surrendering to the will of God.  Thus we are fed with manna, the grace, the word, the love of God. No longer relying on self-will or human strength these people seek a power unknown to many humans. The paradox of human life can be evidenced by those who may have been lost in the desert of this world, the parched materialistic world we live in, and those who have manna.  Forgetting that God is the source of our life is much like the Jews who soon forgot the water and food that was providing to them.  Thus we become slaves.

The source of our life is our Lord. In frequently receiving communion we become one with Lord.Participating in communion as Paul states in Corinthians 10, we become one with Christ.   As I reflect on receiving communion and the Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ, I find myself in awe of the One who gave himself for my sins.  I am not worthy to receive You but only say the word and I shall be healed.  Approaching the altar I must humble myself to receive Him.  I believe You are the true bread of life, help me in my unbelief.

Conflicted and Convicted

The great Aloysius Gonzaga made perfect the example of seeking God's kingdom by giving up a life of wealth to serve God.  His path of following God's call, being selfless, and humbling himself provide for us a path to holiness.  I ponder this frequently as I engage in the daily battle of seeking God's kingdom.  Today's Gospel reading from Matthew is quite straightforward "You cannot serve God and mammon."

My obsession with what the day will provide in the form of food, worldly pleasure, and self-centeredness only leads to despair.  Thus I stand convicted before the Lord as he states "Do not worry about tomorrow as tomorrow will take care of itself.  I know that in God's infinite goodness and in his word the answer there lies as the heavenly Father knows what I need, but my frail humanity pulls me into the temporal world when I allow myself to wander. All worldly desires are short lived as evidenced by society today. There is a constant need to fill and refill the unquenchable thirst of busyness, connectivity, and pleasure. Social media, coffee (nothing against Starbucks and coffee drinkers), television shows, and hedonism are prime examples of this.

Thus pondering the words of Saint Aloysius when he states in his third principle of resorting to acts of humility and self-contempt when confronted by the temptations by the devil, I seek God.  Lord Jesus Christ, Son of everliving God, have mercy on me a sinner.

The Trinity

I never really understood the concept of the Trinity which makes it more difficult to explain.  I guess that is why it is sometimes referred to as the Mystery of the Trinity.  After many years of struggling with the idea of a triune God I gradually began to understand it my own layman's terms.

 I remember our table blessings of the "Father, Son and Holy Ghost."  I was always confused by this. Why would God send a ghost to his people.  As a child I could only reconcile this with as a message that the ghost would scare children into doing the right thing.  Nobody could quite explain this in a manner which I as a child could understand.  The phrase itself was just repeated nightly before we ate.  I can't quite remember when the terminology changed to "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." Without me understanding why, this blessing become part of our daily ritual at home.

Fast forward a few decades and my understanding although somewhat shallow, now is more clear.  The idea that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are one is easier to grasp with daily scripture readings and meditation.  I have come to believe that the Spirit works within me daily as is as referred to as the Advocate.  Moreover, through God's infinite mercy and love he sent his Son to help mankind, to redeem us who are forever lost without his teachings.  Still I struggle with the earthly comprehension of the triune God.  When I allow the Spirit to work within me I receive a glimpse, if only minimal of the mystery.  Thus I defer to those better suited to explain the Holy Trinity.

Why Are You Standing There?

In today's reading in Acts, we hear the angels stating to the apostles, Why are your standing there looking up to the sky?" As I read this it reminded me that I have been blessed with uncountable blessings.  I too have come to know the Lord in ways that exceed my wildest expectations, yet I could be asked the same question.  Why do I stand?  What do I do to proclaim the word.  Just as the apostles who were paralyzed by fear after Jesus crucifixion and who continued so for days until the Pentecost, I for all my supposed courage have been standing.

What is there to gain by proclaiming the Lord? Perhaps answering this question in this context reveals the struggles of one that is contemplating the opposite question of what is there to lose by proclaiming the Lord. Remembering that we have nothing to gain in the sense of this world and that it is stated countless times  and as in Peter 4, "Rejoice to the extent that you share in the sufferings of Christ, so that when his glory is revealed you may rejoice exultantly."

Realizing that suffering for the good of Christ is not something that is readily embraced by this world as the word suffering itself if much frowned upon. Rather we are told that we must avoid suffering and embrace the concept of pleasure and feeling good contrary to the teachings of Christ. Paul in his letter to the Ephesians Chapter 1, gives us an incentive with the promise of receiving the Spirit of wisdom and knowledge of Christ so that we may be enlightened.  Jesus as well in the final chapter of Matthew exhorts us to make disciples of all nations.  Our directive is quite simple as we cling to this promise.  Let it not be just in our words, but also in our actions that we proclaim the good news.  What can I do for someone who is struggling?  What can I do for the poor, the destitute? How can I better treat those closest to me?  Thus no longer standing paralyzed I take action when I answer these questions emboldened by the Spirit.