The Story is Not Over

AND ONE MORE

This weekend the most recent series of Star Wars movies Solo: A Star Wars Story was released. I am old enough to remember the original Star Wars: Episode 4 released in 1977.  It seems that this series will continue on with new characters or different versions of the original ones. Our world is populated with Star Wars fans young and old, but the discipleship passes from generation to generation as people my age have passed their dedication to the series to their children who then have passed their own faithfulness to their children. The story seems to never end nor does the dedication to the saga. As of early this morning 81% of Google users gave it a thumbs up.  So what can we take from this?

Being a casual follower of the characters and even of the eleven releases, I can see the connection with today's Gospel in which Jesus gives the disciples their marching orders to spread the word and make disciples of all nations.(MT 28:19).  We see this in the many people who as mentioned above spread the word of the saga to others. Some become ardent fans and others fall away. If one were to look at the various releases and the commentary on the religious connections they would spend hours reading from lay people to religious experts on the forces of good and evil, laying down ones life for another (Yoda), Darth Vader redeeming himself, and of course the saying, "May the force be with you." The last one is a running joke among Catholics who quickly respond to their Star War friend, "and also with you."

CONNECTIONS

The reoccurring themes of fear and courage resonate throughout the series as Luke is faced with the daunting challenge of leading the Federation against the Evil Empire in what is seen as an exercise in futility. However, spurred the spirit of Obi-Wan Kenobi he leads the Rebels on a successful attack of the Death Star. Faced with equally daunting odds of the chaos in our own world, including rejection of Church teachings, governments that support suppression of rights for all people, the incessant clamor for material items such as phones, TVs, video games, a social media culture that is more about taking down and edifying, etc. 

Moses tells the Israelites in the first reading (DT 4:32) that there is no other God but the one Lord and this God is with you always even in the midst of difficult times. He enjoins them to follow the commandments and statutes so that they the people and their children may prosper. Rings familiar to some of the themes in Star Wars.

Paul also provides inspiration with his message, " For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but received the Spirit of adoption..." (ROM 8:14).  I find that fear inhibits me from speaking out about my faith especially when people attack the Church. I lack the courage to promote the goodness of the Church especially when people recount their negative experiences with Catholic schooling or teachings in general.  This is in part to wanting not to stand out as one of those Catholics who adheres to the teachings of the faith.  I am like Luke in a way with much doubt. I don't realize the power of the sword as the spirit works in me.

THE SPIRIT IS AT WORK AMONG US

We are not alone in this trek. There are many among us who hold faith that all things are in God's hands, and as such we are not to slink back and become wallflowers. This being said the challenge is not to try to conquer everything at once which happens when we look at the big picture  The disciples we remember began with a small group. We know the rest of the story.

I was reminded of this when this past week when at our church's men's meeting of which I am a co-leader, there was talk of how to proceed on a regular basis. We have been on a hiatus due to lack of interest for over a year but were able to bring in Fr. Jack Stoeger to speak. He provided inspiration for us to carry one despite the small numbers and our own residing priest gave us some ideas to continue as well.  His overarching message was to let go and let God. A moment of clarity for me for as person who is a control freak and desires that everything be a raging success in order to appease me ego. Discipleship and the building of community is through the Spirit and most of the time I see that Spirit is working through others.

Fr. Jack concluded his talk with the final words that Jesus spoke to the disciples, "I am with you always."  Despite the sufferings and challenges we might encounter it is the knowledge that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is with us. It than becomes incumbent that we take time to recognize this in quiet time and prayer. And just as importantly for me is to recognize that the Holy Trinity is not exclusive, but can be found in all people and in all things good. May the Force be with you.

Knowing the Spirit

PERCEPTIONS

When I was a child my only perception of the Holy Spirit was the prototypical  flames coming down upon a congregation and people speaking in tongues. As a matter of fact I did not even know what speaking in tongues meant.  I remember passing by a small church one day and hearing people in the congregation speaking in a manner that was distinctly different from anything I had ever heard before. When I asked my mother about the occurrence she said, "Oh that is people speaking in tongues." So I left it and that formulated my perception of the Holy Spirit.  There were some questions though. "Why are those people speaking as such and not other faiths?" "Can a person be taught to speak in tongues?" "What language is being spoken?" The inquisitive childhood questions soon disappeared though as I moved on with my life.

Jesus tells the disciples, "When he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you to all truth.(JN 16:13) There lies the age-old question what is the truth? As a person who has taken a circuitous route in my faith journey I can attest that there are quite a few things that appear to promise the truth, enlightenment, and fulfillment.  However, none of these provided me with the answers I was looking for.

THE SPIRIT WORKS THROUGH OTHERS

I read an thoughtful piece this morning from Jennifer Hubbard entitled Pentecost Sunday in the Magnificat. She began by lamenting her cause in calling on God to open her up so that she could know his voice and be obedient.  The piece continues as she talks of repeatedly praying and not finding a response.  I so identified with these moments of desperation. As Jennifer concludes with acknowledging that the Apostles themselves were waiting as well she states that these men of faith were waiting for something they did not understand. 

I find that in my own pleas and supplications many times I wait for a sign, an inner voice, something tangible that I can grab onto and make sense of.  However this is not how God operates when the Spirit is alive within me. I desperately want to control the outcome and thus become deaf to any message that might be conveyed through the Spirit. But all is not lost.

MOVED

At times I find myself unexpectedly thrown into inner prayer or taking an action that does not come from my heart, but from a force that I have decidedly concluded is the Holy Spirit. These actions or words are spontaneous for if I were to think much about what is moving me doubt would set in and all would be lost for I am one who ponders sometimes incessantly about my actions.

The song derived from Psalm 104 Lord Send Out Your Spirit and Renew the Face of the Earth  provides me with additional hope that despite the worldly chaos and tragedy that we view daily, among this is the Spirit, not as strong wind or shaking ground rattling force, but as the small voice moving me to take action and do my part in this renewal.

When God Takes Things Away

STRUGGLING WITH GOD'S WILL

I have posted on a few occasions on my battles with chronic back and neck pain. Last year I underwent successful cervical neck surgery which relieved months of debilitating pain and suffering. Being an extremely active person as well as an endurance cyclist in my free time my mental state was the best as I found myself not being able to do much of anything except go to work and come home. This frame of mind affected my family who underwent their own struggles with my condition which forced my wife and to cancel a longed plan vacation for our 30th anniversary to Italy.

Through this time period I found solace in prayer and readings about others including fellow bloggers who endured their own battles with emotional and physical pain. I would also like to thank the most recent post by Allison Gingras, Undoing Life's Difficult Knots which always seems to be what I need to read on a particular day. I would like to say I am fine now, but that is not the case. Since my surgery my back has been in bad shape and a variety of other ailments from hip bursitis and shoulder arthritis have cropped up. I often question God asking, "How much longer will this go on," taking and modifying the lyrics of the ACE song from "How Long has this Been Going on."  I take the good days in with an attitude of gratitude and try do the same with days that I struggle.

HOW SHOULD I PRAY?

Prayer can be difficult in these times knowing that all things are done according to God's will, but then again I reflect on Jesus telling the disciples, ask for anything in my name and it will be done." This being said why can't I ask for healing or for that matter that there be world peace? The  battle to be the master of my domain is ever present. It is easy to forget that all things are done by God with a yes, no, and not yet. And that is why today's celebration of the Ascension is important to me.

God is a sense took Jesus away from the disciples leaving them somewhat confused despite his directions. What should they do next? Jesus words were quite clear, "Remain in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love. Love one another. "  Loving others when one is caught up in their own personal struggles is challenging. Ascending above these earthly struggles is possible as I am not alone.

MOTHERLY ADVICE

Earlier in the week I was confiding with my mother my struggles. She has been through enough herself I thought for me to burden her with my complaints. She is a twice survivor of lymphoma which was supposed to be malignant at the time it was diagnosed. She has overcome breast cancer, the loss of my father to Alzheimers disease and countless other struggles. Her words were this, "Every struggle, every ailment and suffering brings us closer to our final destination which unity with God." Not something I really wanted to hear, but she was right as she has made peace with her mortality and limitations. 

LISTENING TO GOD

Today as I was listening to my daily meditation a challenge was issued. Do I see Jesus as joyful or serious. This was based upon the Gospel passage from John in which Jesus says "I have told you this so that my joy might be in you and your joy might be complete." I am considered a serious person by many and perhaps not joyful. Upon reflecting on this I came to the conclusion that despite my personal struggles I can ask Jesus for joy as well even in the sufferings. 

The reflection went further by asking the listener to take notice of how Jesus only prays once for things knowing that the Father will answer. This is instrumental in demonstrating Jesus unwavering faith in the the Heavenly Father.  How many times do I pray for something. Being that my faith is on the proverbial roller coaster this can range from many to maybe once or twice. With temptations my prayer is repetitive. There is nothing wrong with that as I am human. However with my current struggles perhaps I can shorten my request. When I see a cyclist pedal down a local street on the way to long ride my prayer can be the simple Serenity Prayer and leave it at that. I believe that God will restore all things in time and whether this is my desire to be back on my bike and as active before that is not for me to determine. Sometimes God takes things away to replace them with something better which in itself is joyful.  It is up to me to recognize this. 

From Vineyard to Bottle

PRUNING SEASON

For a person who tends a vineyard, the pruning of the vine is essential in order to foster a quality crop.  Unattended vine will produce fruit, but of low quality and eventually may break and cause the vine to be uprooted.  It is thus with parable of the vine grower in today's Gospel reading, who prunes away the deadened branches so that the vine may produce quality fruit.

I am familiar with pruning away old branches having grown up in an agricultural area that was the home of olives, almonds, plums, peaches, and walnuts. Each year the farmers would head out to the orchards with their workers usually after the crops had been picked and prune the trees.  The old growth would be collected and burned in heaps sending up plumes of smoke throughout the area of the orchards. As a child I would also help with the pruning our own olive trees and peach tree. Up an down the ladder to prune the dead growth which would be bundled up and discarded. When needed an application of a black tar-like substance would be applied to prevent the exposed cut from disease. The shears were always washed as well to preserve the integrity of the tool.

THOSE PRUNING SHEARS

For those familiar with gardening, one of the essential tools is the pruning shears. The gardener armed with the shears heads into the garden trimming flowers, rose bushes, and vegetable plants so that the plants may produce beautiful flowers and sumptuous fruit. The old vines and branches are discarded as well.  Once pruned the plants seem to proliferate. As a tomato grower, I am always pruning away the bottom part of the plant as in will invariably sprout little shoots that become prolific if not cut away, thus producing dense foliage but little fruit.

This brings me back to Gospel. God as the vine grower who prunes away our deadened growth. When we are burdened with heavy fruit which comes in the form of bad habits, vices, and the like we gradually become uprooted from our foundation which is God, the giver of life. The fruit which we produce is not tasty, but bitter. One can readily identify with this if you have ever bought grapes at the market, only to go home take a bite and immediately shake with disgust with the sour taste. It is perhaps like this when we at our worst project the fruit of hatred, resentment, and a unloving spirit towards others. I have been through these times and in retrospect I am amazed that people that people tolerated me.  I was coming out of the ground roots and all that is until Eternal vine grower stepped in - pruning away those defects of character and habits that prevented me from producing good fruit.
Even what seems at times good fruit can be deceiving as one might be involved with work to the extent that it becomes all consuming, keeping us from truly carrying our mission. In time this fruit will turn bitter as well as the branches continue to sprout resembling the many tasks we take on, but not producing anything of quality.

BURNING THE DISCARDS

Discarding the cut growth into the fires parallels the need for daily examination and attending the sacrament of reconciliation as often as we can. Perhaps being reminded by our loved ones about the parts of our behavior that seem to bring out the worst in us is a prompting to do some personal pruning. It is quite easy for me to minimize a defect until it is brought front and center by someone close to me. But this alone doesn't make it easy to cut off the growth, this only comes through prayer. Other than that the behavior is much like the suckers on a tree or plant that continually sprout up from the trunk, taking away the ability to fully grow.

GOOD WINE

I am thoroughly convinced having gone through a considerable pruning that God intends that I produce good fruit and for that matter wine that is of good quality. I need that pruning periodically as something in my life seems to be taken away so that I can refocus on the need for God. I need to remain in Jesus in order to be productive not in a worldly sense, but spiritually.  Not much of a wine drinker I do enjoy a good wine occasionally and I understand the work it takes to get from the vine to the bottle.  We are as such pruned, picked and bottled so that we can pass on good spirits to others.

Brief Thought on the Good Shepherd

THE HOMILY

Our visiting pastor Fr. Bill gave a most beautiful homily today about the Good Shepherd. He told us that he did some research recently on shepherds and came across this tidbit. A shepherd would break the legs of a stubborn sheep who wander of persistently. Once done he did not leave the wounded animal, but instead would carry the sheep on his shoulders until it was healthy to be back moving around with flock. Fr. Bill said at the time of Jesus' teaching that most people would be familiar with this information as there were many who labored in the fields caring for the animals.

THE TAKEAWAY

I found this particular insightful as many people struggle with addiction of many sorts or become over dependent on someone in an unhealthy manner. When the drug of choice, the work, the game, or the individual is removed, the person becomes paralyzed and lame in a sense. God has taken away the legs or leg so that person can no longer stand or become dependent on themselves and their unhealthy behavior. The person may feel empty, weak, and vulnerable. It is at this point with God's infinite grace that he hoists us up on his ever-so-powerful shoulders and carries us (see the Footprints in the Sand poem below). 

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied:
"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

Carolyn Joyce Carty 1963

The Journey of the Sheep

REMINISCING

In my youth our family would frequently visit some friends who lived on a large sheep ranch. Frequently we would venture out on the ranch and visit with the herders who were Basque and Mexican. These men would shepherd the sheep up into the hills as the animals foraged for food the recently sprouted grass from the winter and spring rains. When the grasslands had been grazed the sheep were then transported up to central Oregon where the sheep would then graze for the summer.
During this time I was always amazed that these men were able to keep track of the sheep as they foraged in the wooded areas of Oregon, rarely losing a lamb. Only once in a while would a wolf actually kill one of the herd. The men themselves were rugged living on their own with their sheepdogs in their small trailers, moving every so often as to find a new grazing area.  The sheep seemed ever so docile following the commands of the herder and bark of the dogs. If one began to venture off the herder would send his dog to bring it back.

Today's gospel passage brought back those memories. The shepherds were ever so aware when one of sheep began wandering off much like Jesus who is constantly watching us and through the Holy Spirit working in others brings us back. Even though they were hired hands they became responsible for the flock they herded with such diligent care. They made sure the sheep were guided to pasturelands that were verdant and water supply was near. When they moved it was because the source of food had been depleted. 

Jesus also guides us in such a way as we move through life. When we have our fill we are gently guided to move on whether it be in relationships, work, activities and even in spiritual life. We are given what we need. We are fed the spiritual food of the Mass. We move with the herd through life yet we each take different steps much like the each individual sheep that maneuver the path to their destination.

TEMPTATIONS ABOUND

Yet there are those who wander off and are consumed by the wolves. Sometimes these wolves are dressed in sheep's clothing, luring us under false pretenses to get closer, to follow their lead. These as we know are the temptations of the world, the glamour, the pleasures, the fame. For some us we may have ventured down these roads and found temporary fulfillment, but sooner or later the Good Shepherd sought us out with his staff and brought us back or it may have been the shepherd's dogs that rounded us up or the consistent barking that awakened us up to come back. For those familiar with sheep, maybe the it is the bells that consistently ring reminding us where the flock is, or to warn us of danger, all which keeps us close to Christ.

FINAL THOUGHTS

During the spring the sheep were sent to the barn for shearing, taking off their thick coat, and leaving them rather exposed to the warming temperatures as the climate changed from spring to summer. It is much like us who through Lenten season attempt to take all the sin that weighs us down and be exposed as we are left to the world and yet completely dependent on the Jesus for guidance. Through Easter experience even though we might be raw and cold, we are warmed by the resurrected Christ. We become renewed and the process begins all over again as we process through the year, hopefully more aware the Good Shepherd as venture down the path with the flock.

Reflections on the Cross

THE STATIONS

I have never been one attracted to the Stations of the Cross. I vaguely remember as a child doing the stations for catechism class but as an adult the practice as I saw was not appealing. In a previous post I wrote of trying something new so I attended the Stations of the Cross. It was a solemn ceremony, but I came out empty. Consequently I decided not to attend the rest of the Stations given on Friday. You see I did not really understand the meditative reality and power of the stations.

JESUS IS THE CROSS

Yesterday at the celebration of the Lord's Passion, as I was approaching the cross I was suddenly enlightened. This happens to me every so often being consumed with worldly concerns that fog my spiritual journey. The cross that was used for adoration was smooth due to the sanding and rendering of piece of wood. It glistened in the light of the church from the coat of varnish that had been applied to it. Jesus was not on the cross, he was the cross!

The cross arms I began to see were his arms embracing me the sinner as I approached him. It was as if he was truly embracing me. That thought stayed with me through the whole Mass and into this morning during my prayer and meditation time. I was then prompted to read the Via Crucis.

BACK TO THE STATIONS

Each ensuing meditation on the fourteen stations began to make sense. Yes the gifts and virtues area became real for me.  The second station meditation had a particularly moving line, "For no one achieves a happy life without taking up the cross and following Jesus."

I began to meditate on the what this means. How many times to I try to avoid suffering of some kind, imploring Jesus to take away physical pain, or fractured relationships?  It seems daily. The prayer for the station end with the words, "embrace my share of Christ's sufferings with a tranquil spirit." That to me was key. Stop fighting the will of God. Embrace suffering and stop the complaining.

I proceeded reading the rest of the meditations and prayers of the stations. I guess you can say I received to a limited extent the gift of understanding outlined in the second station, Jesus Takes Up His Cross. With this in mind I know have a new-found appreciation of the Stations and their meditative qualities.

SCOREBOARD UPDATE

My Lent has not been ideal as I just seemed to run out of the desire to keep true to praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Fasting on Fridays worked until last week while out of town on at a conference I completely forgot about not eating meat as I was consumed by the content and intellectual conversations. However, as I know the spiritual journey is not perfect as exemplified by the Way of the Cross, there will be falls, but in the end the abundance of mercy provided to us by God allows me to rise up and continue.

May you all be blessed this weekend. Happy Easter!