Knowing the Spirit

PERCEPTIONS

When I was a child my only perception of the Holy Spirit was the prototypical  flames coming down upon a congregation and people speaking in tongues. As a matter of fact I did not even know what speaking in tongues meant.  I remember passing by a small church one day and hearing people in the congregation speaking in a manner that was distinctly different from anything I had ever heard before. When I asked my mother about the occurrence she said, "Oh that is people speaking in tongues." So I left it and that formulated my perception of the Holy Spirit.  There were some questions though. "Why are those people speaking as such and not other faiths?" "Can a person be taught to speak in tongues?" "What language is being spoken?" The inquisitive childhood questions soon disappeared though as I moved on with my life.

Jesus tells the disciples, "When he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you to all truth.(JN 16:13) There lies the age-old question what is the truth? As a person who has taken a circuitous route in my faith journey I can attest that there are quite a few things that appear to promise the truth, enlightenment, and fulfillment.  However, none of these provided me with the answers I was looking for.

THE SPIRIT WORKS THROUGH OTHERS

I read an thoughtful piece this morning from Jennifer Hubbard entitled Pentecost Sunday in the Magnificat. She began by lamenting her cause in calling on God to open her up so that she could know his voice and be obedient.  The piece continues as she talks of repeatedly praying and not finding a response.  I so identified with these moments of desperation. As Jennifer concludes with acknowledging that the Apostles themselves were waiting as well she states that these men of faith were waiting for something they did not understand. 

I find that in my own pleas and supplications many times I wait for a sign, an inner voice, something tangible that I can grab onto and make sense of.  However this is not how God operates when the Spirit is alive within me. I desperately want to control the outcome and thus become deaf to any message that might be conveyed through the Spirit. But all is not lost.

MOVED

At times I find myself unexpectedly thrown into inner prayer or taking an action that does not come from my heart, but from a force that I have decidedly concluded is the Holy Spirit. These actions or words are spontaneous for if I were to think much about what is moving me doubt would set in and all would be lost for I am one who ponders sometimes incessantly about my actions.

The song derived from Psalm 104 Lord Send Out Your Spirit and Renew the Face of the Earth  provides me with additional hope that despite the worldly chaos and tragedy that we view daily, among this is the Spirit, not as strong wind or shaking ground rattling force, but as the small voice moving me to take action and do my part in this renewal.