When God Takes Things Away

STRUGGLING WITH GOD'S WILL

I have posted on a few occasions on my battles with chronic back and neck pain. Last year I underwent successful cervical neck surgery which relieved months of debilitating pain and suffering. Being an extremely active person as well as an endurance cyclist in my free time my mental state was the best as I found myself not being able to do much of anything except go to work and come home. This frame of mind affected my family who underwent their own struggles with my condition which forced my wife and to cancel a longed plan vacation for our 30th anniversary to Italy.

Through this time period I found solace in prayer and readings about others including fellow bloggers who endured their own battles with emotional and physical pain. I would also like to thank the most recent post by Allison Gingras, Undoing Life's Difficult Knots which always seems to be what I need to read on a particular day. I would like to say I am fine now, but that is not the case. Since my surgery my back has been in bad shape and a variety of other ailments from hip bursitis and shoulder arthritis have cropped up. I often question God asking, "How much longer will this go on," taking and modifying the lyrics of the ACE song from "How Long has this Been Going on."  I take the good days in with an attitude of gratitude and try do the same with days that I struggle.

HOW SHOULD I PRAY?

Prayer can be difficult in these times knowing that all things are done according to God's will, but then again I reflect on Jesus telling the disciples, ask for anything in my name and it will be done." This being said why can't I ask for healing or for that matter that there be world peace? The  battle to be the master of my domain is ever present. It is easy to forget that all things are done by God with a yes, no, and not yet. And that is why today's celebration of the Ascension is important to me.

God is a sense took Jesus away from the disciples leaving them somewhat confused despite his directions. What should they do next? Jesus words were quite clear, "Remain in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love. Love one another. "  Loving others when one is caught up in their own personal struggles is challenging. Ascending above these earthly struggles is possible as I am not alone.

MOTHERLY ADVICE

Earlier in the week I was confiding with my mother my struggles. She has been through enough herself I thought for me to burden her with my complaints. She is a twice survivor of lymphoma which was supposed to be malignant at the time it was diagnosed. She has overcome breast cancer, the loss of my father to Alzheimers disease and countless other struggles. Her words were this, "Every struggle, every ailment and suffering brings us closer to our final destination which unity with God." Not something I really wanted to hear, but she was right as she has made peace with her mortality and limitations. 

LISTENING TO GOD

Today as I was listening to my daily meditation a challenge was issued. Do I see Jesus as joyful or serious. This was based upon the Gospel passage from John in which Jesus says "I have told you this so that my joy might be in you and your joy might be complete." I am considered a serious person by many and perhaps not joyful. Upon reflecting on this I came to the conclusion that despite my personal struggles I can ask Jesus for joy as well even in the sufferings. 

The reflection went further by asking the listener to take notice of how Jesus only prays once for things knowing that the Father will answer. This is instrumental in demonstrating Jesus unwavering faith in the the Heavenly Father.  How many times do I pray for something. Being that my faith is on the proverbial roller coaster this can range from many to maybe once or twice. With temptations my prayer is repetitive. There is nothing wrong with that as I am human. However with my current struggles perhaps I can shorten my request. When I see a cyclist pedal down a local street on the way to long ride my prayer can be the simple Serenity Prayer and leave it at that. I believe that God will restore all things in time and whether this is my desire to be back on my bike and as active before that is not for me to determine. Sometimes God takes things away to replace them with something better which in itself is joyful.  It is up to me to recognize this.