Look Around

Look Around

You pass me by on the street 

my soiled clothes and bare feet

You step over me on your walk

not taking the time to even talk.

You see me on tube with my beckoning eyes

yet you are not moved even with the silent cries

You ask John, "What should we do?"

My answer is, "Look around you."

Open your eyes we are the destitute, the homeless,

the sick, the poor.

We search for the true living Christ nothing more.

We don't ask to go into your homes and disturb your night.

We just ask that to be treated without spite.

A hello, are you alright?

Makes my day so light.

The voice cries out in the wilderness, "make way."

Will you be like Christ today?

© Christian Miraglia 2018

Waiting

WAITING

Waiting is what Advent is all about and waiting is what we spend doing during our daily journey through life. So let's take a waiting journey.

THE DAILY WAIT

As soon as one arises in the morning, there may be a wait to enter the bathroom to ready ourselves during the day. Or as many do the the first action upon waking is to look at their phone, tablet, or computer. Surprise you may have to wait until the wifi signal is at full strength before checking out the latest in news, e-mail, etc.

One turns on the shower water and finds that they must wait 30 seconds to a minute before it is heated up enough to step in.
Next venture to the kitchen. The water for your coffee or tea needs to be put in the microwave for a minute or two. Then once ready, you must wait a minute before you can actually drink it. Now we haven't even left the house yet if you are working. For those who are parents usually you have to awaken your children and wait for them to get ready for school. More waiting. When you do arrive at school, there is of course the long line of parents' vehicles that are waiting to drop off their children.

THE COMMUTE

Back to those who are off to work. You get in your vehicle and realize that you must fill up the tank so you head to Costco and find a line of cars six deep also on the same mission. Once you have filled up your vehicle you head off on your commute.Wait a minute. You didn't get your coffee at Starbucks. Off to the drive-thru for a five minute wait.  For those of you that don't have a long drive to work, God has blessed you. For those of you like myself who live in a urban area, you know that you will spend a good amount of time at traffic signals and once on the freeway waiting for traffic to move beyond 25 mph. It isn't even 7:00 am yet and it seems like you have done a lot ot waiting.

IT ISN"T EVEN NOON YET

So far your first hours are full of waiting. The rest of the day will be somewhat of same. Waiting in line at the grocery store or local eatery. One cannot forget the doctor's office where you were scheduled for a 3:00 pm appointment and it is already 3:45. Then there is the classic wait, the Department of Motor Vehicles.
Waiting for a loved one to get ready to go out. Waiting for work to end. Waiting for the game to end so we can celebrate a victory. Waiting in line to cross the border.

Yes we do a lot of waiting during our life. We wait for our sports teams to win which if you are a Cub's or Red Sox fan you know what I am talking about. We wait for good news and bad news. We wait for news about a child who applied to a college. We wait for medical news or news about loved ones who are sick. We wait and wait.

THE PERENNIAL WAITER

Yet while we are waiting all this time do we think about the One who is patiently waiting for us?  Perhaps as we wait impatiently in line at the store or at Costco to put gas in our car we can spend a moment to acknowledge the One who created us. Or for someone like myself who spends what seems like too much time in Southern California traffic, I can thank God for the vehicle that I am able to drive to work as well as for the drivers who are plodding along with me to their destination. In this I am surrendering to the One who created me. As the day ends I can spend time in quiet solitude looking over what Jesus is waiting for me to do. As always there is unfinished business, an amends that needs to be made, some part of my life that I refuse to give up control over, and the list goes on. Yet he patiently waits.

Happy Advent.

Who is my King?

WHO IS MY KING?

After listening to the daily meditation Pray as You Go this morning which prompted me to take a look at the question. "Do I take Jesus for granted?" I found that not only do I take Jesus for granted on occasions, but I also take those around me for granted as well. Who exactly is my king? Is it work, is it those parts of me that I don't reveal to others, is it my pride?

THE KINGS OF THIS WORLD

We heard the word king used in a variety of contexts. For those familiar with the commercial from Paul's TV in which the owner states at the end "I am the king," we may reflect on that very product. Is TV our king. Do we bow to its every appeal? Are we caught in the endless spiral of binge watching programs for hours on in? Do we spend more time watching the endless stream of programs instead of reading spiritual books going to Mass, and spending silent time with our Savior.

Then we have the basketball player LeBron James who is commonly referred as the King.  LeBron is an idol to many young children and adults as well. The question then becomes do we make a person a king obsessing about their every move, buying their products, becoming a slave to the world of materialism?

On the note of materialism I can't help but lament the craziness of Black Friday. It truly is a dark spot on the spiritual calendar as people obsessed with getting the best deal. In contrast the Gospel reading on Friday has Jesus clearing out the temple of those that were hawking their items. Jesus makes it clear that the temple is a sacred space. Not only is he talking about the physical building, but for us as well. Do I have a time for sacred space during this holiday season?


Of course we cannot forget Burger King which brings the uncomfortable conversation of food right

after many of us of indulged in more than we have liked to on this Thanksgiving weekend. I have issues with food. It becomes a source of comfort when I am angry, feeling down, or bored. I can easily allow the thought of food and comfort become a focus instead of fasting. I personally do not like fasting because I feel that I am giving up something that I need in order to survive throughout the day.

ALL OR NOTHING

Bishop Robert Barron in his homily podcast for today Christ the King reminds us if we are truly giving ourselves to Christ, we give our all to Him not just those things that are easily surrendered. Giving up the desire to control our family members, our co-workers, and those close to us is challenging. The phrase, "I am the king of my own domain" very much conflicts with the Gospel message. Taking the time to acknowledge that Christ is my king in every aspect of my life is start. However holding on to those areas which I want to control is not easy, such as my health, my work, and the world beyond me.  Thus, I must trust that through faith Jesus Christ will do for me what I cannot do for myself.

Am I Ready?

TOUGH QUESTION

I was recently asked by my adult son if I am ready to meet Jesus. I thought about this for a moment and replied, "No, I still need to work on myself more." Can anyone be ready to meet Jesus? I have had friends who were sick and completely at peace when they passed. They seemed quite ready, at peace with themselves, and with their families and friends. And there are the people who are suddenly taken from us in tragic circumstances. One never knows when our time is.

When the author of Daniel speaks of the time of unsurpassed distress (DN 12:1), I cannot help but think of the state of our nation and world. Over the past two weeks in California where I live there have been wildfires that have been epic in proportions of deaths, there was another tragic shooting,  contentious political elections, and a myriad of personal tragedies.

Then one cannot help but look at the world scene. Peoples moving in large numbers trying to escape violent environments in Asia,Africa, the Middle East, Central and South America. Many of the people face even more violence as they arrive in the areas which they sought refuge or are met with hostility from the various hate groups that have increased in response to keep their borders secure.

FORMING AN IMAGE OF GOD

This brings me to the old religious comic books which I read as child which left an indelible mark on my understanding of God. I don't remember the titles other than "The Cross and Switchblade" featuring Pastor David Wilkerson and one book of Revelation and the end times. In very comic book style detail it laid out how the world would end with wars, famine, suffering and disease. I remember on one page it spoke of fires and oceans being polluted. On another page it spoke of the wars with nation versus nation. I trembled in my interior as these images became permanently embedded in my psyche.  Never mind the end pages which spoke of people being gathered up due to their faith. On one page it featured countless people robed in white approaching a figure in white as part of the final judgement. My image of God was formed. He was a God that inflicted pain and suffering on people. He moved people around as chess pieces and wasn't concerned about their well-being.

THE HERE AND NOW

I still find what goes on today and question why God allows such suffering and evil. There isn't much to say other than with faith I understand that God has a plan and I who want to control the outcome of those things within my environs am not privy to it.

I am part of a men's group at my parish and we have been viewing Bishop Robert Barron's Catholicism collection of DVDs. This past week we watched the The Ineffable Spirit of God. In it one of the titles is "The Problem of Evil." Fr. Barron is walking through the Auschwitz concentration camp as he talks about the topic.  The scenes are quite uncomfortable, but the conclude with teaching that from all the evil that took place there is a bigger plan from the Author of Life.  After watching the men in the group discussed the content. We came to the conclusion that evil does exist, but that is different from suffering.  Moreover it was agreed that despite the evil that exists we don't really know the big plan. 

Since I am a controlling person I took this to heart. I like to think that I have control over my family, those that I work with, over my students, even over my own future. None of this could be farther from the truth and this takes me back to question "am I ready?" Jesus says "But of that day or hour, no one knows, neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." MK 13:24-32 . Not knowing when my time is up is quite scary, but there is not despair. If truly live out my life, putting my faith in God first, taking time for self-examination (that can take up a considerable amount of time), loving those around me and spending time in prayer, I guess I am ready. 

A Nation Going Spiritually Blind

THERE IS ALWAYS AND ANSWER

Although full of political opinions and a student of history, I don't usually provide commentary on current events. However, the recent events this week have brought me to do so, but in a non-political manner. I am thoroughly disgusted at the vitriol that has ravaged our nation and I truly think that we as a people have lost our moral compass. Immigrants, people of color, and religious beliefs are under attack and vilified daily. What is the answer?  For me it can be found in today's Gospel.

I as a person have many spiritual blind spots. Fortunately, through the trials and errors of life and the infinite grace of God I can ask much like Bartimaeus, "Jesus, son of David have pity on me."  I cannot imagine being blind, but having recently been diagnosed with a cataract I have a sense as what it is like as my vision is clouded.  It is so with sin, and hate. It begins with something relatively small, maybe some offhand comment or action. It doesn't seem like much and so it is repeated.

I find that this pattern continues on a daily basis from many people in the public light. What concerns me is that we as a nation have not come to realize our blindness. How can a nation call itself Christian when such vitriol is become common place and normalized? The followers have quashed the voice that says, "repent, reconcile yourself to God, admit your sins and become new again."

IT BEGINS WITH ME

So I begin today by answering Jesus question, "What do you want me to do for you?" "Jesus give me the strength so see my own prejudices, hatred and sin.  Help me love and pray for those who continue to spread hate, divisiveness, and violence against all of your people. Let there be peace in the world and let it begin with me."

I also will begin praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet daily for those I dislike and find hard to love. Addicted the newsfeed on my phone, I will take time instead to pray for those who spread the vitriol across our nation and world.  One prayer at a time, one person at a time.

O blessed Virgin Mary pray for us!

Rambling a Bit: Writer's Block and the Holy Spirit

NEEDING INSPIRATION

I don't always get up on Sundays inspired to write. I like many hit a wall, have writers block, run out of ideas, and sometimes don't even want to think about writing. Consumed by the crazy schedule of one adult child's Sunday soccer games, a recent visit by another child with a one month old baby, and the life of a working adult, writing seems like a chore, but there is something that always inspires me from fellow writers and from what I see as the Holy Spirit moving me to sit down and write. Today was one of those days. I had no intention to write until I read the Mass readings in the Magnificat along with the meditation that accompanied it. The passage was from the bestselling author Vann Voskamp who is a frequent contributor and focused on a conversation about cancer. Paraphrasing the main idea' "cancer cells are known as the cells that only benefit themselves," or as Ann Voskamp states in the final lines, "Cancer is what refuses to die to itself." How beautifully stated.

I then can see that James and John in their worldly aspirations have been infected by this cancer. More importantly I can see that this is also my principal problem as I trudge the road of attempting to live out a Christian life. Being a very driven person and wanting to prove myself to anyone and everyone I don't like the idea of surrendering my ambitions to God. But after hitting so many walls in my drive, I have come to believe that I that very cancer that Ann Voskamp alludes to alive and kicking in me. 

JAMES AND JOHN

My desires and longings are brought to God every morning much like James and John. The conversation goes like this, "God you know that I desire _________ and I have been patient about waiting. How much longer will I have to wait? I know that you know what is best for me and that I don't want to carry the cross of impatience or even the answer no." Then I catch myself. The cancer is spreading again. This all about me. I am not surrendering to the will of God, but putting demands on God. I am not dying to self nor am I acting as if I'm willing to serve.

SERVING OTHERS

Becoming a servant to others is such a foreign concept in our society. I see how people demand service and entitlement. As for myself I can honestly say that taking this attitude has only brought me resentment and anger as I affix unhealthy expectations on people and institutions for things that best serve me.

Conversely I have found greater joy in serving others. There is something about helping those in need. Perhaps it is that the cancer is being treated by the Holy Spirit and there is no longer that self-obsession. The eyes are opened to the needs of others or as Jesus says "the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve (MK 10:35-39)

We have given up everything

AM I REALLY GIVING UP EVERYTHING?

"We have given up everything" Peter exclaims to Jesus after the young man is sent off dejectedly as he is unable to part from his wealth (MK 10:17-30).  This passage always prompts some self-examination. How much material and wealth am I storing up and does it really provide happiness? I also look at those who use the Prosperity Gospel to advocate a life of excessive wealth and wonder have they forgotten that Jesus himself was not rich, that there are starving people everywhere on our streets and in nations around the world,  but let me begin with myself.

So after hearing the readings I begin the inventory process. Here are areas where I fail. As a teacher I dress professionally shirt, tie, slacks. My problem is that I have shirts for at least two weeks of work. I like to vary the combinations, but do I really need all of the shirts?  What else to I have which I don't need? In a culture that is oversaturated with materialism it seems that I need a little of everything.

Is it that Pumpkin Spice at Starbucks? Or that juicy hamburger from In'N'Out? We are told that we need these things and for those whose financial needs allow for them to live comfortably this sometimes comes without much thought. The question is how much should I give up? Afterall I worked hard for my money, spending long hours at work, working overtime, building up my savings over the years. Yet I feel empty.


Paul talks of the word of God penetrating us to the bone (HEB 4:12-13) Nothing he says is able to escape it. So I must stand naked in front of my maker and render an account. What will I say about the time that I withheld from giving a homeless man a jacket that he needed more than I as he shivered on cold winter morning? And all those shirts and extra pairs of running shoes?  And the money stored up for a comfortable retirement, a dream trip, college tuition for the children, and the grandchild.

THE QUESTION

So how is that a sinner like myself can be saved? God always provides a way out. Perhaps it is the first reading from Wisdom (7:7-11). Praying for the wisdom on how to use the gifts that God has blessed me with; a well-paying job, reasonable health and mind. It is here that I can look at how to give, it is here that I a sinner give up my right to control that which I has been given to me by graces of God. Allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me in the process and not depending on my own devices to decide. Much like the author of Wisdom, I have found that all good things come to me even though I may not immediately recognize the graces that have been bestowed upon me. It is here that I can give everything up and follow Jesus with my own cross knowing that He has walked this path before and will walk it again.

Whoever causes ...

DRIVING THE ROAD OF LIFE

We all know the passage well especially as parents, "Whoever causes these little ones who believe in me to sin..." It makes one feel as if we are under the microscope all the time.  If one thinks about it we are in a sense. For those of us who have trained out children to drive this readily apparent. I remember that once I started this process I was extremely sensitive to how I reacted to erratic drivers. All I could think of was my children have been watching me, will they pick up the same habits I sometimes demonstrate of anger and rage.  This also applies to life in general.

AT OUR BEST AND WORST

It is sometimes easy to forget that our children are watching us all the time whether is be in our consumption of goods, in my case occasional uses of profanity when I am angry, judgement and condemnation of those I don't agree with, and the list goes on. Even though my own children are adults now, they are still watching.  I personally don't want to face the moment when I ask the children about a certain behavior, and I get the response "that is what you do."  I would prefer that my children see me in moments of restraint, in prayer, morning silence, charity and the like.


In the second reading (JAS 5:1-6)James talks of the wealthy and their impending misery. Once again I am aware of how my children watch and how I react to money. If I make money the end all and am in the constant search of pleasure my children see that and likewise begin to think that money buys everything including anxiety, and the unfulfilling desire to have more. However, if my children see that I use restraint and am generous with what I have been blessed with, my hope is they will do the same.

AND FINALLY 

I read this past week a blog post from author Christopher West who took today's gospel passage “And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. Better for you to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into Gehenna.” Modern adaptation: “If your iPhone causes you to sin, throw it away. If your laptop causes you to sin, get rid of it.”  There could not be a better adaptation. Besides the obvious implications of his translation, one must also look at the time we use with our devices. Is it causing us to disconnect from the responsibilities of parenting? Are we lost in the addictive cycle of negative news and other trivial events? I struggle with wanting to know the latest in the neverending news cycle. But really, how much of that is a benefit to me? Does it cause me to become agitated, judgemental and condemning? And can my time be better spent? Yes, yes and yes. For today I choose life in Christ and to be an example of this life to my children even though they are adults. 

From today's Psalm R. (9a) The precepts of the Lord give joy to the heart.
The law of the LORD is perfect,
refreshing the soul;
the decree of the LORD is trustworthy,
giving wisdom to the simple.
R. The precepts of the Lord give joy to the heart.
The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever;
the ordinances of the LORD are true,
all of them just.
R. The precepts of the Lord give joy to the heart.
Though your servant is careful of them,
very diligent in keeping them,
yet who can detect failings?
Cleanse me from my unknown faults!
R. The precepts of the Lord give joy to the heart.
From wanton sin especially, restrain your servant;
let it not rule over me.
Then shall I be blameless and innocent
of serious sin. 
R. The precepts of the Lord give joy to the heart.

Which Seed Am I?

FINDING MEANING

I have always enjoyed reading the passage of the sower and the seed (LK 8:4). For many years it was nothing more than another passage. But after years of being the seed that fell among thorns it became more meaningful. However, I never put together that I was each of the seeds at any given time during the course of the day. 

THOSE ON THE PATH

As I alluded to I have this passage for many years. I can attest that I was the seed on the path. Although I heard the word it was quickly taken away. I felt that I could never be saved in my sinful state. Thus the seed was eaten up as soon as it hit the ground of my inner being. There was no need for me to try to listen for I was in a hopeless state of sin. "What is the use?" The birds flocked all around me and plucked away at me. 

THE ROCKY GROUND

Later I would take to actually listening to the word. It made some 

sense to me, but once beyond the doors of the church and the world of temptation, it too became withered and quickly burned up for I had no spiritual foundation. The world was more appealing anyway. Why would I want to actually take time to develop a spiritual foundation.That was too much work and required nourishment which I shied away from. 

THORNS

Thorns are a true pain. For those that hike through the countryside or through mountains, getting cut up is part of the journey. For myself the venture outside to the lemon tree which so abundantly provides us fruit is also an adventure. Reaching into the tree for that perfect lemon, can also result in receiving a nasty prick. Such is the seed that fall among the thorns. It begins to grow, but is soon entangled by the thorns of anxiety, pleasures, and the desire to be comfortable. Each one of these pierces the individual,  drawing attention to their needs to conform to the world. Much like the disciples who while walking with through Galilee with Jesus and who although followed Jesus teachings were dismayed by his proclamation that he would handed over and killed (MK 9 30-37). Instead of accepting this they began discussing who would be first falling prey to the human ambition to be recognized and important.  I personally find this a challenge on a daily basis. I want to be seen, to be acknowledged for my "good works." But who am I serving? The human need to fulfill this desire is quickly overcome with the thorns of the bramble and the action no longer is about serving God, but oneself. The seed that was once a healthy plant is strangled and gradually dies. 

RICH SOIL

God always provide a road out of the abyss if one truly seeks it. The seed that falls on the rich soil as it full of the proper nutrients and is watered well will become a healthy plant and bear fruit. Being a gardener this resonates profoundly with me. The soil nutrients are the sacraments, prayer, meditation, and fasting and the water is  the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit guides me to perform good works, to serve others, and to accept suffering through perseverance. I hope that the fruit I bear is not that of the lemon tree, but that of the apple; sweet, juicy, and delightful. 

THE CROSS

Daily I must bear the cross of being a fallen human being. At times I am the seed on rocky ground, hearing God's word, but quickly forgetting. Thus I become scorched without any roots. It seems that my spiritual foundation is far away and I am cast out without an anchor. Other times, choked by  anxieties and ambitions I wander aimlessly into the world and quickly die, falling trap to greed, the desire to please, to fill my empty soul. Paul states in Romans 7, "What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate." But thanks be to God I am rooted in the word therefore I find hope. 

The Bike Ride

A TIME FOR REFLECTION AND GRATITUDE

I have been blessed to get back on my road bike recently and ride three days a week. This time for me is a release from the stresses of my job teaching and life in general. It is also a time for spiritual reflection.

DISTRESSED AND DOUBTING

Today was no different, but I was deeply distressed. Again at Mass we heard about the sexual abuse crisis, this time from a visiting priest from Ireland. His homily as always prompts one to think about their relationship with God and the parish community itself. He talked of Pope Francis visit to Ireland and the demonstrations that were taking place as well as the Pope's visit with survivors of abuse in the Irish church.

Later on in the afternoon before I went on my ride I was reading various Catholic blog posts from fellow bloggers in the Catholic Blogger group. I found myself emotionally moved by posts from both lay people and those serving in various roles in the church.

A couple of hours later I was on my bike for a gusty ride down to the beach. It was at this time I begin to reflect on what I heard and read today. These were the questions that came up and mind you I was disturbed with some of these thoughts.

• What if the Church has been hiding other things as well such as the validity of biblical teachings.
• How does one talk to a priest about their doubts of Church's hierarchy?
• Should the Church change its policy on married priests?
• What can be done about the sexual abuse crisis?
• Should the church examine and rethink its approach to human sexuality?
• How can I trust priests and those in power in the Church?
• What can I do as there has been many suggestions the whole Church is hurting?
• Should I fast?
• What if everything about our faith is lie?

WHAT IS NEXT?

It was at this point that the Divine Mercy prayer began to take hold of me as I pedaled in stiff crosswind. "For the sake of his sorrowful passion have mercy on the Church. For the sake of his sorrowful passion have mercy on those in authority in the Church. For the sake of his sorrowful passion have mercy on those affected by the abuse crisis...." As hard as it as all of this was to pray I found myself somewhat at ease, but with still many questions. I was also reminded that Mary is with us forever as well waiting patiently for me to approach her and ask for guidance. I know that we are in turbulent time both societal and in the Church. I have to remember no to make any one person a higher power, no matter who they are. There is only one God and that God will always be faithful to me even when I as sinner wander off as I have so many times. I am reminded of the U2 song I will follow in which the refrain is as follows:

If you walk away, walk away
I walk away, walk away
I will follow
If you walk away, walk away
I walk away, walk away
I will follow
I will follow

U2 1980

No matter where I go Jesus will be there with me even as I am greatly troubled as today. 

Choices

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

Whenever I hear today's Gospel passage I am reminded of the Clash song Should I Stay or Should I Go. Never mind the rest of the lyrics, it is the question itself that I must ponder daily. Should I follow Christ or go off on my own because of teaching that does not agree with me who is mired in the flesh. Even more profound is the same question that some might be considering in light of the most recent sex abuse crisis.

Since I have taken the road of the flesh which is as Jesus states, "while the flesh is of no avail," I can say that option of spirit is more appealing, but not necessarily easier.  So essentially what it come down to is this, "Do I want eternal life?" This not a decision that I take lightly nor do I really know what this eternal life holds for me. I am sure it much better than my life here on earth.

FAITH STRUGGLES

I like those in the Gospel struggle with the Jesus statement in John 6:54, "Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day." I question at times the reality of Jesus being alive in the Eucharist and in the cup. But there is something that keeps me coming back. This is the Spirit. I am drawn again and again to come back, to believe that Jesus is present in the host and in the cup. "This is my body which is given up for you. Take this all of you and drink from it, for this is the chalice of my blood."  Since I am doubter of sorts, I must pray "I believe, help me in my unbelief." 

I have been pondering all this week about the bread of life discourse. How can I explain it to my Protestant friends or non-believers, "Eat this of it, for this is my body." The reality is I can't other than through faith.  I am allowing Jesus to live in me and knowing that my sins are redeemed in him dying for me is all I need. I don't have the theological background to go into detail. I just trust that if the time comes I will be able to explain this mystery of faith. 

DECISION TIME

The choices to believe that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist and follow his teachings are clear. God does not tie me down and force me to belief anything. I have the freedom to make my own choices and left to my own devices have done so often with much despair and failure. But there is something about being nourished by the bread of life and by the Spirit. It is though I am filled with after eating a hearty meal, but when the the body begins to hunger I am drawn again to Mass and communion. Moreover, I believe that the Spirit also beckons me to my fill of spiritual reading, prayer, meditation, and acts of goodwill. Finally as Peter stated in today's Gospel, "Master, to where shall we go?"  I have experienced the other side and it is immense void full of empty promises, self-indulgence, and long list of other tempations. So the answer is I will stay today as I know that tomorrow I have the choice to leave. 

Living one day at a time; 

enjoying one moment at a time; 

accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it; 

trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will; 

that I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

forever in the next. 

Serenity Prayer

 Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

Ingredients

FIRST BITE

The first bite into the the pasta plate in front of you is bursting with a multitude of different tastes.  The zesty sauce brought alive with wine and plum tomatoes, a hint of seasoning as well as the garlic.. For those spend most of their time in the kitchen instead of heading out to the local In and Out this is what makes cooking so enjoyable, the ingredients. Most people have baked or cooked something at some point in their life, however to know what composes a great dish is to know the ingredients, the tastes, and the exact time to pull the dish off the stove or out of the oven.  There is deep connection to the food. The good cook knows it inside and out.

JESUS KNOWS US WELL

Such is the case with Jesus who knows us as well, our brokenness and goodness, what makes us tick, what sets us off, what makes us distraught. However, this is not the case of Jews who think they know Jesus questioning each other after Jesus states "I am the bread of life that came down from heaven." They murmur amongst themselves, "Is this not Jesus, son of Joseph? Do we not know his father and mother?" (JN 6:41-51)They are further taken aback by the statement and question how Jesus say that he came down from heaven. That in itself is heresy.

DO I KNOW GOD?

This brings up the question, "Do I really know God?" I can't even count the number of times when I think I know what God has planned for me only to be surprised. Probably better said I try to play God and plan accordingly knowing what is best for me. It is much like a food that one has a preconceived notion about and has vowed to never taste it, but once taking a bite is pleasantly surprised by the tasty ingredients.  I don't know what God consist of nor have I seen God. I can only fashion an image that is based on a preconceived notion based on the ingredients that I have obtained during my life.

THE LESSON

I have to consider that  do I not know God well as I would like, but through faith I have encountered unconditional love that cannot be matched.  However, there is another message in John's Gospel today which we can apply to our daily lives. Do we know the people we judge and condemn? A  good friend of mine always reminds me when I talk about how I can be condemning and judging, "Do you know their story?" Something I always need to consider. I sometimes don't even know what makes the people closer to me tick as I overlook the ingredients that make them up. So before I cast a judgement, I need to take a closer look at the person. I need to listen and be present. I need to look at the ingredients. 

Leftovers

LEFTOVERS ANYONE?

When do know when God is talking to you? I have no experience with God talking to me directly at least that I can remember. I do have many memories of being prompted by an inner voice that stirs me to take action or by a scripture reading that provokes further meditation or thought.  Last Sunday was no different. The homily given by our residing deacon spurred a further reflection on the idea that although the focus was on the multiplication of the loaves and fish, there was another message, one that get typically overlooked - that of the remnants of food or what I call leftovers.

I previously wrote about cooking which is something I enjoy as I find it creative, therapeutic, and a way to bring family together. With many dishes the food is bursting with taste on the day is prepared, but the following day the leftover meal always seems to even tastier. These leftovers leave one savoring the test at times wanting more. Moreover, if on day of the preparation there is plenty to go around one gives the guest take home plates. It is this that Jesus is asking us to do as well. It is not enough to just eat or in our case go to Mass and participate in the taking of Communion, we are to go beyond the doors of the church to spread the Word.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

Jesus had to explain to those that followed him across the lake to Capernaum that he was the bread they were seeking (JN 6:24). This was done after they asked for a sign from him, not really understanding who he was. Signs as we know are only temporal, much like anything else we encounter in the world. It is here one moment and then gone. People may talk about an event years later, but its memory becomes fleeting as time moves on. Much like a good loaf of healthy bread Jesus will nourish us. As one becomes more in tune with their spirituality they realize that this nourishment is vital for survival.

EMPTY CALORIES

Jesus on the other hand as the true bread of life sustains us in word, spirit, and body. He leaves us

with leftovers as we are nourished through the Spirit. However, there is a caveat to this. If the attending Mass becomes just a ritual without substance we become much like a person who craves fast food, goes to McDonalds, orders a Big Mac meal and finds themselves hungry a few hours later. They are not filled due to the empty calories. We have to make sure that attending Mass does not become just another fast food experience. On the other hand a healthy meal full of the food pyramid groups serves to sustain. This is the liturgy, full of the word of God, Communion, and song as well with the community of worshippers.

PREP WORK

I know that with cooking there is plenty of time dedicated to prepping the meal. Washing and cutting vegetables, marinating cuts of meat, making a good sauce, are all part of the process. For me going to Mass is the same. I cannot just show up five minutes before Mass as I know from experience that I will leave with little. Attending Mass involves reading Scripture early in the morning and having a considerable amount of time for prayer and meditation. Then and only then am I ready for meal and thus can take leftovers to the world beyond the church doors. 

Being Fed

THE JOY OF FOOD

Food has always appealed to me, especially as a person who enjoys cooking. I look to the challenge of the preparation, the cooking, knowing when the particular dish is ready, and the taste test. In a way I have become a food critic, having developed a sense of taste over the years. This particular art was developed at a young age in my parent's kitchen as they always prepared our meals and we rarely ventured out to eat as there were so few quality eateries in the rural area that I grew up in. Having spent many years watching and assisting my parents in the kitchen cultivated my tastes, My food experience was a combination of Italian, German, and whatever else my parents decided to stir up.
Being married to my wife of Mexican-Japanese descent my horizons in this area have broadened along with the easy access of millions of recipes found on the web. I have been extremely fortunate to live in an area of Southern California where one can pretty much find any type of ethnic food they desire as well.  Consequently I am always fed with a variety of tastes which have multiplied over the years.

OH NO! NOT LIVER

Being fed spiritually is another story. Much of my adult life was spent avoiding spiritual food like a one avoids their least favorite food, in my case liver. Although I attended Mass weekly, my inner being was not being fed. Taking communion was just another obligation along with Mass attendance, The Sacrament of Reconciliation was an empty ritual that little to no effect on my hardened soul. It was as if I was being fed with food that had no nutritional value. This of course was entirely because I was not in place spiritually to truly taste and see the goodness of the Lord. I avoided spiritual reading much like child revolts against a certain food being served at the dinner table.  Yet I was still hungry not knowing what this emptiness actually was.

FEEDING THE REBELLIOUS CHILD

God does have funny ways of working with people. It was as if the most nutritional dish was put before me time and time again which I turned away from. Patient like a parent who is trying to instill good eating habits to a stubborn child, God knew that a some point I would give in to my hunger for goodness. A new food that is exploding with a bouquet of taste would bring me back to the table again and again.  There would be no more rebelling against the liturgy, communion, and the teachings of the Mother Church. I was being filled but would still hunger. However this hunger would not be one of futility, but the desire to quench the spiritual void with more.

MULTIPLYING BLESSINGS

The story doesn't end. In the today's Gospel from John (JN 6:1-15) we see Jesus multiplying the loaves for the hungry group of men who followed him. Here I see the need to be fed daily by Jesus and also feeding others.  It  isn't enough just to be fed but to share with others the Good News, the spiritual food for life. For me this is similar to a chef who is constantly looking at new foods to add to menu and opportunities to bring in new clientele. Many opportunities exist from the call I have received (EPH 4:1-6) to continue on with work of the Lord and carry on the message of faith, hope and love.

The Call

SIGNS OF THE TIMES

As I reflect on the events of this week in our nation and view the vitriolic rhetoric that is hurled through cyberspace and the news cycle I am more convinced that we as a nation need to take a step back and truly look at our faith.  Recently I was driving and saw a bumper sticker that read something like this "Pray the Rosary, Save our Nation." How appropriate I thought, but how many people really take that to heart.  I am disturbed by social media posts by people who declare themselves Christian in my own circle who then react in such a non-Christian way to people who demonstrate compassion for immigrants, people in need, etc.  Where are the prophets? Where is the voice or better yet who is the voice?

THE MESSAGE OF JOHN

And then we come upon today's Solemnity of John the Baptist. John broke the mold of what the typical prophet should be.  Just maybe we are asked to do the same. What if we all took upon the life of simplicity and proclaimed as John did the coming of Christ? Or better yet what if we actually took upon the teachings of Christ in turning the other cheek, praying for our persecutors and those who oppress the poor instead of using the angry but empty blares of social media?

ON CUE

Pope Francis' intention for the month was "That social networks may work towards that inclusiveness which respects others for their differences." A quite appropriate prayer this month in our nation indeed. I have been challenged from reacting on numerous occasions as I read incendiary responses from people I know who post reflect ideology that I do not agree with. So far with God's grace I have not posted a single reply. 

HOPE AND THE CALL

Today's second reading from Isaiah proclaims, "Though I thought I had toiled in vain/ and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength,/ yet my reward is with the Lord. It seems at time that very passage is relevant today. The voice of love is truly crying out in the desert landscape, " Make way for the Lord." It seems to be drowned out by the almost animal-like howls of hate. Living out the Gospel is a truly a calling. 

Think of traveling in through the desert today. At least in some areas of the the Southwest United States one can find areas where there is no cell phone coverage. For some their is that panic. "Oh no there is no access!" Perhaps we should take that to heart as a blessing. What if we actively sought to travel to the deserts of our own hearts, put down the phone or device, and reflect on the poverty of our hearts, the parched landscape of our interior, and listened for the true voice. Perhaps we are asked to be that light to others.

The Spiritual Journey: Of Seeds and Maturity

NOT KNOWING

I like many others have taken the long path to arrive at a life of spirituality. Did I know this would occur? No I am like the man in the Gospel reading of which Jesus says “This is how it is with the kingdom of God; it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land and would sleep and rise night and day and through it all the seed would sprout and grow, he knows not how." (MK 4:26).  I see myself in this as both man and the seed. 

NOT YET GERMINATED

Much of my life had been spent in ignorance of the workings of God or down right rejection of the Church teachings. I was living life much like the parable of sower and the seed falling and being choked by weeds and thorns (MK 4). I cannot count the times where I would hear these parables on Sunday's and then go out and live a life of blasphemy and sin. Seeds were being planted in me but they needed water for I was dry in spirit. These seeds come in the trails and tribulations of life as well as the various relationships and people I have encountered. Some people have made a lasting impact and their seed has permanently planted in the soil of my being. Others seem to be like the seed that is scattered in the wind, blowing away to be never seen again. As I see it I was not ready to follow the Father, Son or Holy Spirt. 

THE JOURNEY OF THE SEED

But a seed was planted, a small seed at that, the mustard seed if you will. My soul was stirred as the seed germinated, not yet ready to break through the soil. With some spiritual watering and a spiritual awakening the seed burst through the soil. However, this sprout was in the light was in the need of other seeds to provide some shade so that it would not be burned by the ways of world as well as well as the waters of the Spirit to provide growth. As I continue to grow spiritually I find that I am very green in many matters especially the knowledge of Church teachings. 



As a seed grows it develops a trunk to stabilize itself so it does not fall over. The trunk is nourished by water and fertilizer of which comes with daily readings, meditation, attending Mass, and partaking in the sacrament of reconciliation.  Thus the plant matures as new branches begin to extend out into the light. With these branches come the grain. If well developed head of the grain will have many seeds that can be harvested or in the case of the mustard plant a bright flower burst out which will eventually become the seeds.

SPREADING THE SEED

It is here that I have realized that I am to spread the seed. As a father this is extremely important to me.  For if I am not able to spread the seed of the Gospel to my own children, I have failed in vital area of my life.  The question of how might one spread the word was posed today in my daily meditation. I think it begins with family and then within our various relationships and communities.  However, none of this can happen if one is still green and not fully mature. I continue to ask God to guide me in this area for even as somewhat green mustard plant I now know that I do have a role in God's kingdom.

A Prayer for Fathers
Lord you have watered me and watched me grow.
Your eyes never leave me and your hands guide me.
Help me in my journey so that I may plant the seed of your love and way
for my own children.
Sprinkle me with the fertilizer of the Spirit so that I may grow strong in you.
Help me mature so that I can spread your seed to my own children.
Strengthen my faith so that I may not waiver and bend to ways of the world.
This I humbly ask of you, Amen.