Am I Ready?

TOUGH QUESTION

I was recently asked by my adult son if I am ready to meet Jesus. I thought about this for a moment and replied, "No, I still need to work on myself more." Can anyone be ready to meet Jesus? I have had friends who were sick and completely at peace when they passed. They seemed quite ready, at peace with themselves, and with their families and friends. And there are the people who are suddenly taken from us in tragic circumstances. One never knows when our time is.

When the author of Daniel speaks of the time of unsurpassed distress (DN 12:1), I cannot help but think of the state of our nation and world. Over the past two weeks in California where I live there have been wildfires that have been epic in proportions of deaths, there was another tragic shooting,  contentious political elections, and a myriad of personal tragedies.

Then one cannot help but look at the world scene. Peoples moving in large numbers trying to escape violent environments in Asia,Africa, the Middle East, Central and South America. Many of the people face even more violence as they arrive in the areas which they sought refuge or are met with hostility from the various hate groups that have increased in response to keep their borders secure.

FORMING AN IMAGE OF GOD

This brings me to the old religious comic books which I read as child which left an indelible mark on my understanding of God. I don't remember the titles other than "The Cross and Switchblade" featuring Pastor David Wilkerson and one book of Revelation and the end times. In very comic book style detail it laid out how the world would end with wars, famine, suffering and disease. I remember on one page it spoke of fires and oceans being polluted. On another page it spoke of the wars with nation versus nation. I trembled in my interior as these images became permanently embedded in my psyche.  Never mind the end pages which spoke of people being gathered up due to their faith. On one page it featured countless people robed in white approaching a figure in white as part of the final judgement. My image of God was formed. He was a God that inflicted pain and suffering on people. He moved people around as chess pieces and wasn't concerned about their well-being.

THE HERE AND NOW

I still find what goes on today and question why God allows such suffering and evil. There isn't much to say other than with faith I understand that God has a plan and I who want to control the outcome of those things within my environs am not privy to it.

I am part of a men's group at my parish and we have been viewing Bishop Robert Barron's Catholicism collection of DVDs. This past week we watched the The Ineffable Spirit of God. In it one of the titles is "The Problem of Evil." Fr. Barron is walking through the Auschwitz concentration camp as he talks about the topic.  The scenes are quite uncomfortable, but the conclude with teaching that from all the evil that took place there is a bigger plan from the Author of Life.  After watching the men in the group discussed the content. We came to the conclusion that evil does exist, but that is different from suffering.  Moreover it was agreed that despite the evil that exists we don't really know the big plan. 

Since I am a controlling person I took this to heart. I like to think that I have control over my family, those that I work with, over my students, even over my own future. None of this could be farther from the truth and this takes me back to question "am I ready?" Jesus says "But of that day or hour, no one knows, neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." MK 13:24-32 . Not knowing when my time is up is quite scary, but there is not despair. If truly live out my life, putting my faith in God first, taking time for self-examination (that can take up a considerable amount of time), loving those around me and spending time in prayer, I guess I am ready.