Choices

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

Whenever I hear today's Gospel passage I am reminded of the Clash song Should I Stay or Should I Go. Never mind the rest of the lyrics, it is the question itself that I must ponder daily. Should I follow Christ or go off on my own because of teaching that does not agree with me who is mired in the flesh. Even more profound is the same question that some might be considering in light of the most recent sex abuse crisis.

Since I have taken the road of the flesh which is as Jesus states, "while the flesh is of no avail," I can say that option of spirit is more appealing, but not necessarily easier.  So essentially what it come down to is this, "Do I want eternal life?" This not a decision that I take lightly nor do I really know what this eternal life holds for me. I am sure it much better than my life here on earth.

FAITH STRUGGLES

I like those in the Gospel struggle with the Jesus statement in John 6:54, "Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day." I question at times the reality of Jesus being alive in the Eucharist and in the cup. But there is something that keeps me coming back. This is the Spirit. I am drawn again and again to come back, to believe that Jesus is present in the host and in the cup. "This is my body which is given up for you. Take this all of you and drink from it, for this is the chalice of my blood."  Since I am doubter of sorts, I must pray "I believe, help me in my unbelief." 

I have been pondering all this week about the bread of life discourse. How can I explain it to my Protestant friends or non-believers, "Eat this of it, for this is my body." The reality is I can't other than through faith.  I am allowing Jesus to live in me and knowing that my sins are redeemed in him dying for me is all I need. I don't have the theological background to go into detail. I just trust that if the time comes I will be able to explain this mystery of faith. 

DECISION TIME

The choices to believe that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist and follow his teachings are clear. God does not tie me down and force me to belief anything. I have the freedom to make my own choices and left to my own devices have done so often with much despair and failure. But there is something about being nourished by the bread of life and by the Spirit. It is though I am filled with after eating a hearty meal, but when the the body begins to hunger I am drawn again to Mass and communion. Moreover, I believe that the Spirit also beckons me to my fill of spiritual reading, prayer, meditation, and acts of goodwill. Finally as Peter stated in today's Gospel, "Master, to where shall we go?"  I have experienced the other side and it is immense void full of empty promises, self-indulgence, and long list of other tempations. So the answer is I will stay today as I know that tomorrow I have the choice to leave. 

Living one day at a time; 

enjoying one moment at a time; 

accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it; 

trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will; 

that I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

forever in the next. 

Serenity Prayer

 Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)