Recognizing the Holy Spirit

A whisper in my conscience guides me to take a action of love that which gives me great joy inside.  I would like to think that this is because I am such a nice person. Upon further reflection I realize that this is the Spirit working in me.  I ponder this.  So how long did it take for me to recognize the Spirit?  When is the Spirit working within the recesses of my soul?

A Google search takes me to look for how many books have been written on the Holy Spirit. "Encountering the Spirit,"  "Receiving the Spirit," and host of thousands of other books have been published on the topic.  All the titles seem intriguing, but I would rather look to today's readings for guidance. Paul writes in both the first letter to the Corinthians and late to the Romans about receiving the Spirit in which he talks of spiritual gifts being given in some manner to individuals and of being in the flesh and not being able to please God.

It took me many years to figure this out.  The idea that there are many types of service and that this service actually is understanding God's will and carrying it out was quite foreign to me. I was that person who was living in the flesh that St. Cyril states of , "it is quite natural for  people who have been absorbed by the things of this world to become entirely otherwordly in outlook." I can say I haven't reached this state but certainly understand the concept and try to live it out daily.  The struggles of the world can be all consuming, but it is with the grace of God, the manifestation of the Spirit that I receive reprieve. I am faced with the temptation to judge and condemn daily, to rage at the craziness of the events that seem to be the only focus of the media, and the temptation to carry out the myriad of other sins that reside in me.

Realizing that as Paul conveys so clearly "that if you live according to flesh, you will die, but if you live by Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live," my only source of life is not what I sometimes gravitate to, that of recognition and achievements, but recognizing when the Spirit is working in me.  This state of consciousness forces me out of myself, to see the burdens of others, to provide a helping hand, or at least pray for the wellbeing of those that are suffering.  It is movement within, not of my own doing, that  provides none other than true life. It is that small voice that questions an action that I am attempting to take.  Some might refer to this as our conscience. I however, prefer to recognize this as the Spirit working within me.