What is the Cross to Me?

Upon reflection on this day of the Exaltation of Cross many thoughts crossed my mind. From my daily reflections I read a poem by Brother Jacapone da Todi who was Franciscan writer in Italy.  His poem "How We Exalt the Cross" detailed a person contemplating a climb on a  great tree whose branches ascended beyond sight. Ready to climb the person sees no place to get a hold except a defective looking branch. Eager to begin he is stopped in his tracks when a voice says "Do not touch me unless you have first confessed." As the piece goes on the climber now cleansed ascends only with his profound recognition that without God the ascent will not take place.  Struck by the deep symbolism of the poem I meditated on the meaning of the cross.  As with a tree the cross is attached to the ground. Jesus crucified with outstretched arms is the many branches of tree providing shade for those who come close, his arms representing the world in which he takes in.  The cross in itself is symbolic of suffering of Jesus and those that follow him.  Putting it in the context of climbing a tall tree, the dangers each step up signifies and the possibility of fall, the weak branches that one might inadvertently grab on our journey, Jesus is our foothold on the ascent. Although suffering is seen in adverse light in our world today, we shall climb embracing the precarious journey,  to the  top of  the tree to our eternal reward willing to take risks and knowing that with each fall, each moment of suffering, the extension of the arms of Christ will grab us and lift us up to a stronger branch along the way.

Personal Gain

Jesus message in today's Gospel is quite clear, "sell what you have and follow me." In our world today this is quite challenging especially for those of us who reside in developed countries. But as James states in verse 1:22 "be doers of the Word and hearers only." Do we forget who we are? Do we forget that we are not on this earth for ourselves? With the many creature comforts it is easy to do so.  Yet we don't have to sell our soul to our possessions and obsessions to obtain true life.  I often can be paralyzed by the frenetic pace of life around me and the desire to gain more and more.  However, through God's grace I realize that this only brings emptiness and is short-term. The idea that we know it all and there is no longer a need for God only brings us closer to personal destruction and on a larger scale societal chaos. We don't have to look far for this during the past month. I can ask as the young man in Matthew asked "Jesus, what do I lack?" The answers will come in prayer and reflection.  For myself, it is clear what I lack. My sale is to my Lord, my Redeemer, my strength.  It is only through this surrender will I find treasure.

Lord I am Not Worthy ...

As I reflect on today's reading, the one that struck me the most was from Deuteronomy.  Many people have suffered afflictions or endured hardship and as such have overcome these trials by surrendering to the will of God.  Thus we are fed with manna, the grace, the word, the love of God. No longer relying on self-will or human strength these people seek a power unknown to many humans. The paradox of human life can be evidenced by those who may have been lost in the desert of this world, the parched materialistic world we live in, and those who have manna.  Forgetting that God is the source of our life is much like the Jews who soon forgot the water and food that was providing to them.  Thus we become slaves.

The source of our life is our Lord. In frequently receiving communion we become one with Lord.Participating in communion as Paul states in Corinthians 10, we become one with Christ.   As I reflect on receiving communion and the Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ, I find myself in awe of the One who gave himself for my sins.  I am not worthy to receive You but only say the word and I shall be healed.  Approaching the altar I must humble myself to receive Him.  I believe You are the true bread of life, help me in my unbelief.

Conflicted and Convicted

The great Aloysius Gonzaga made perfect the example of seeking God's kingdom by giving up a life of wealth to serve God.  His path of following God's call, being selfless, and humbling himself provide for us a path to holiness.  I ponder this frequently as I engage in the daily battle of seeking God's kingdom.  Today's Gospel reading from Matthew is quite straightforward "You cannot serve God and mammon."

My obsession with what the day will provide in the form of food, worldly pleasure, and self-centeredness only leads to despair.  Thus I stand convicted before the Lord as he states "Do not worry about tomorrow as tomorrow will take care of itself.  I know that in God's infinite goodness and in his word the answer there lies as the heavenly Father knows what I need, but my frail humanity pulls me into the temporal world when I allow myself to wander. All worldly desires are short lived as evidenced by society today. There is a constant need to fill and refill the unquenchable thirst of busyness, connectivity, and pleasure. Social media, coffee (nothing against Starbucks and coffee drinkers), television shows, and hedonism are prime examples of this.

Thus pondering the words of Saint Aloysius when he states in his third principle of resorting to acts of humility and self-contempt when confronted by the temptations by the devil, I seek God.  Lord Jesus Christ, Son of everliving God, have mercy on me a sinner.

The Trinity

I never really understood the concept of the Trinity which makes it more difficult to explain.  I guess that is why it is sometimes referred to as the Mystery of the Trinity.  After many years of struggling with the idea of a triune God I gradually began to understand it my own layman's terms.

 I remember our table blessings of the "Father, Son and Holy Ghost."  I was always confused by this. Why would God send a ghost to his people.  As a child I could only reconcile this with as a message that the ghost would scare children into doing the right thing.  Nobody could quite explain this in a manner which I as a child could understand.  The phrase itself was just repeated nightly before we ate.  I can't quite remember when the terminology changed to "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit." Without me understanding why, this blessing become part of our daily ritual at home.

Fast forward a few decades and my understanding although somewhat shallow, now is more clear.  The idea that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are one is easier to grasp with daily scripture readings and meditation.  I have come to believe that the Spirit works within me daily as is as referred to as the Advocate.  Moreover, through God's infinite mercy and love he sent his Son to help mankind, to redeem us who are forever lost without his teachings.  Still I struggle with the earthly comprehension of the triune God.  When I allow the Spirit to work within me I receive a glimpse, if only minimal of the mystery.  Thus I defer to those better suited to explain the Holy Trinity.

Why Are You Standing There?

In today's reading in Acts, we hear the angels stating to the apostles, Why are your standing there looking up to the sky?" As I read this it reminded me that I have been blessed with uncountable blessings.  I too have come to know the Lord in ways that exceed my wildest expectations, yet I could be asked the same question.  Why do I stand?  What do I do to proclaim the word.  Just as the apostles who were paralyzed by fear after Jesus crucifixion and who continued so for days until the Pentecost, I for all my supposed courage have been standing.

What is there to gain by proclaiming the Lord? Perhaps answering this question in this context reveals the struggles of one that is contemplating the opposite question of what is there to lose by proclaiming the Lord. Remembering that we have nothing to gain in the sense of this world and that it is stated countless times  and as in Peter 4, "Rejoice to the extent that you share in the sufferings of Christ, so that when his glory is revealed you may rejoice exultantly."

Realizing that suffering for the good of Christ is not something that is readily embraced by this world as the word suffering itself if much frowned upon. Rather we are told that we must avoid suffering and embrace the concept of pleasure and feeling good contrary to the teachings of Christ. Paul in his letter to the Ephesians Chapter 1, gives us an incentive with the promise of receiving the Spirit of wisdom and knowledge of Christ so that we may be enlightened.  Jesus as well in the final chapter of Matthew exhorts us to make disciples of all nations.  Our directive is quite simple as we cling to this promise.  Let it not be just in our words, but also in our actions that we proclaim the good news.  What can I do for someone who is struggling?  What can I do for the poor, the destitute? How can I better treat those closest to me?  Thus no longer standing paralyzed I take action when I answer these questions emboldened by the Spirit.

The Living Stone

In today's second reading and in the Gospel we  hear of edifices, whether it be of the cornerstone of the building and of the dwelling places that are in the Father's house.  Reflecting on the second reading from Peter in which the word stone is used, let us think of a stone.  As defined in the English Oxford Dictionary a stone is "A piece of rock or hard mineral substance (other than metal)." We typically think of stones as immovable objects or something that cannot be broken.  As a child I remember going out to the local river in which the beach was full of stones.  None of these could be broken.  The origin of these stones come from a much larger piece of rock.

Applying this to the reading today that larger piece of rock is Jesus, immovable, steady, and everlasting. In this large stone many rooms can be constructed. These rooms are for his followers.  Taking this a step further the stones that we find in our journey are the followers.  They have weathered the wind, rain and inclement weather of the world.  These stones are not grains of sand which have been eroded by sin and the passions of the world. Instead they will be gathered up the Builder who is constantly adding rooms to His house, his universal church.  Each of us has been chosen to a stone, to add to the kingdom, as well as to gather other stones so that the house may be strong.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled," states Jesus to the disciples.  "You have faith in God; have faith in me also." Let us have faith in Jesus that He will take us to the dwelling place prepared for us.  Build on your faith, on your foundation which is Christ. Become that rock for those around you that sustains the elements of the world.  Let sin not penetrate the stone, although we may survive the hammer that strives to break us down, which at times may inflict chips, in putting our faith in the cornerstone we will be joined in the one dwelling cemented by faith. Become refined, smoothed, and glimmering stones of faith, so that we can be seen a piece of the Father's work.

The Good Shepherd

As we continue the good shepherd narrative in John, we hear Jesus talking of the hired hand in comparison to the good shepherd.  If we think of the hired hand who works for pay and has no concern for the flock and apply it to today's world, we see the hired as today's materialistic world has no concern about the greater good but only for the individual.  The hired hand works for pay which is a temporal reward as it is with all the worldly goods that surround us.  Yet these goods and riches are fleeting, never satiating the thirsty soul.

The good shepherd is willing to lay his life for the flock and pursue those who run away.  Furthermore he will aid those in distress.  Think of the popular picture of the shepherd who holds the lamb as he returns to the flock. Jesus will go to the farthest depths of our souls no matter how far we wander from him.  He will gently bring us back to the fold where we will find rest for our weary souls.  By offering Himself for our brokenness and sinfulness he thus brings us back and will do so no matter how many times we wander.  As sheep are sheared the dirty wool falls off to expose and bright white unblemished skin.  Let it be with us so that the Shepherd of life can clean us of our heavy wool laden with sin so that we can become new.

The Shepherd

In today's Gospel Jesus message to the Pharisees was quite clear and applies to us as well.  The flock will not follow strangers because they do not know them, but when they hear the voice of their true shepherd they will enter through the gate and find pasture.  The shepherd also is able to cure those sheep who have slipped and injured themselves as well.  Hoof rot is common malady among sheep and those appointed to their care will trim away the infected part of the hoof so that it does not become further infected.  Moreover, if the bacteria is not treated it can spread to the whole herd.

Here we have a parallel.  Jesus being our shepherd can cure us of our sinfulness to that we can become part of the fold.  The more we try to cure ourselves as the Lord stated "Physician, heal thyself." we become more infected with the sin that has overtaken us. The sin spreads to the rest of our souls and may eventually infect others. Following Jesus is difficult in that we as sheep are overcome by the worldly desires and turmoil around us.  We do not hear the bell ringing of the one sheep who leads the flock nor do we hear the voice of shepherd as we become busy, distracted and complacent. The wolves are constantly looking for ways to attack us, to drive us away from the flock.

Seek the shepherd. Repent and become part of the flock. The Lord is our true shepherd. Psalm 23 "The Lord is my shepherd, there is nothing I shall want ...

Redistribution

Today's Readings Acts 5 John 6

Although the multiplication of loaves is a well known story, let us take a closer look at the interaction between Jesus, Philip and Andrew.  Philip doubts that there is enough food to feed the throng that has assembled.  Not quite knowing the power and love of Christ, his faith in what Jesus is about to partake in is minimal.  "Give us this day our daily bread." Jesus is about to feed the crowd not only with food but of himself.  Words we come to know Jesus by, yet many times we question Jesus or fret we do not have enough money, food and worldly possessions.  Jesus knowing what we need will always provide for us in his great and infinite love.  Andrew also questions "what good is these five loaves and two fish for so many?" When we see what Jesus does in that what he gives is visible in our worldly possessions and daily sustenance, but also in that which is invisible, namely his grace, healing and his body for our sins can we not pause and rejoice.  "Give thanks to the Lord with a ten string harp" (Psalm 33) says the psalmist today.  Can we not redistribute what Christ has given us in love and compassion for others?

Peace be With You

It is no coincidence for me that this passage is read today as I battle with the temptation to be judgmental and resentful after a difficult week. In our life we find that we are faced with situations that disturb our inner peace and require healing.  The true test of one living a Christian life is whether we choose to accept the Holy Spirit to heal these wounds.  For me to continue to live in the world I must  acknowledge that my humanity alone will only lead me to paths of inner turmoil, anger, resentment, bitterness, etc. Thomas Aquinas and others have said that God allows us to face trial and tribulations so that we can be a model to others in how we react to these situations.

On this Divine Mercy Sunday we are given examples of God's infinite mercy on the disciples and first Christians as they full of fear and insecurity are given the presence of the risen Christ and through the work of the apostles.  Inspired by the Holy Spirit in Acts, the first Christians provide for the needy among them and the Lord added to the numbers. Peter proclaims that we may suffer through various trials (1:3-9) so that we may become refined as a testament to praise and glory of Jesus Christ. Mercy defined in Webster dictionary is the  kind or forgiving treatment of someone who could be treated harshly or kindness or help given to people who are in a very bad or desperate situation.  Are there people in our lives that are in need of mercy, the same mercy that Christ extended to all so the world could be a better place? It doesn't take but a minute in my case to find those who are in need of mercy. As Jesus did with Thomas even with his unbelief, let us extend mercy to those people who are in need so that the name of Christ may have life in a world that desperately needs it.

Where Do I Go?

Have you ever been inspired to seek a higher purpose? Do you hear a calling?  My life has been full of these questions and I have pondered these for many years.  Having a calling is indeed a blessing. For many finding their calling is a constant search.  What if you were to tune to God's channel?  Might the clarity of the calling be more pronounced?

Over the last coupe of years I have spent hours writing on spiritual matters in a journal. What calls me to do so? Not easily explained, but through many months of prayer and meditation I have felt a divine inspiration.  Have I been afraid to share this? Yes because these writings might change my life. 

With this in mind I have taken the next step and decided to publish this blog.  What may come of it? I don't know. What I do know is that there is a plan for me and much like Thomas Merton in the Seven Story Mountain, I will find confusion, fear, but also strength if I am tuned in.

Resurrection

Monday's readings Acts 2:14,22-33 Matthew 28:8-15

The Lord is risen. The Lord meets the women. The soldiers are paid to keep quiet. The last line stands out in particular in Matthew as the soldiers took the money and did as instructed, " You are to say, His disciples came by night and stole him while we were asleep." Are  we also paid off to not preach the resurrected Christ?  The climax of our Easter celebration, the ending of Lent, all are periods of great reflection and sacrifice.  This culminated in Sunday's hymn in which the choir sang "Jesus Christ is risen today, Alleluia!

So what is next?  Back to the hustle and bustle of our everyday life?  Back to our daily routine? The secular world is paying us off to move past Easter.  It lulls us to that complacency where we can be no different than that of the guards at Jesus' tomb.  Think for a minute.  Are your ready to back to your usual routine, to return to the things that you might have given up for Lent?  For me the answer is yes. Going back to not fasting on Friday's, to buy music on i-Tunes when I hear a song that captivates me.  I thus become bought off.

Indeed, I should be praying for the strength to carry the message and not immediately gravitate towards those things that I gave up. I should be praying for the strength of Peter, Mary Magdalene, and the first Christians who without hesitation once they realized what had happened and proclaim "I have seen the Lord."