Is the Spirit Calling?

Questions of the Spirit

On this Pentecost Sunday I am brought to reflecting on questions that I had as youth and continue to have about the Holy Spirit/ Who is this Spirit one might ponder? What does it have to do with me? Does it speak or prompt me to take action?  These are questions I had in my youth. As a child I could only visualize the Pentecost as an event found in biblical picture books and the idea of the spirit seemed far away,  only something that crazy zealots might possess. I remember passing by a church in my community and hearing the congregation speaking in a manner that wasn't consistent with that of every day communication. It was explained to me that these people were speaking in tongues.  I found that quite frightening. 

As a more seasoned adult and with more spiritual maturity I have found that the Holy Spirit does exist and is present in me as long as I am open to it.  Writing this blog I find that I usually inspired by the  Mass readings and or by a Ignatian podcast that I listen to daily.  However, recently I have been uninspired to write.

The Spiritual Desert

What brings on this dryness? Am I without spiritual inspiration? This leads me to the review the gifts of the spirit. Paul writes in the First Letter to the Corinthians about different workings of the Spirit. I would like to think that I have at least one of these, maybe the gift of discernment or at least the gift of knowledge and or wisdom. 

Perhaps the Spirit is manifesting itself in different manners and I am not open to see this. I have at times in my life prayed that I may help others during the course of the day and lo and behold an opportunity arises where suddenly there is a person who is need whether a homeless person or a friend who needs a listening ear. Maybe that is all God is asking me for that particular day, to be open to Spirit. There are other days when opportunities such as these do not arise and I feel somewhat empty. But maybe that is how it is to be.

The Locked Closed Door

Reading the Gospel reading today and hearing the homily today about being closed and locked up prompted a reflection on how I am very much like disciples cowering in the upper room in fear. I too am afraid that if I proclaim the good news of  the Gospel I will be persecuted, shunned, and ostracized. But what if I have been blessed with gifts that are not yet manifest and due to fear I close and lock up my gifts, is this God's will for me?  The Spirit is full of life, thus the imagery of fire emanating from the mouths of the disciples. It burns with strength and through the doors that we erect if we allow it. It can break down barriers that seem impenetrable. It can melt the lock that has sealed the individual inside the proverbial room. 

Discernment

Of all of the spiritual gifts mentioned by Paul I am drawn to the gift of discernment. Being somewhat impulsive about things, I have found that reflection on actions I am about to take in prayer usually brings about better results. There are times where I wanted to lash out at a person, but somehow I was moved to pray in the moment about what action to take.  I found myself later calmly talking to the person in a manner that surprised me.  

Discernment I find serves well with life decisions as well. Having undergone a myriad of tests for a neck condition which has limited my ability to travel I was faced with making decisions about a long planned vacation, attending an out of state graduation and an impending surgery. I spent a lot of time in prayer although some of the answers did not seem to come as quickly as I would have liked, but they came.  

Discernment allows me to recognize when I am at the point of spiritual emptiness and acknowledge it accordingly. I have found that there is nothing wrong with being at that point at times.  I would welcome the opportunity to be on fire as the Apostles were as spread the word to the young Church.  But for now that is not my calling and for a good measure as I would probably allow such power to inflate my ego. Discerning how to serve God today is my calling. If I am blessed with other gifts so be it.  So my prayer today is that all of us be open to the Spirit calling in whatever mode it might be.