Sunday, February 10, 2019

Cast Out Into the Deep


UNCLEAN

"Woe is me, I am doomed! For I am a man of unclean lips," states the writer of Isaiah in today's first reading.  We soon find that even though the writer does not feel worthy of being in God's presence, God is ready to send him out after his has been forgiven.  Oh how I identify with him and with Peter in today's Gospel. I feel so unworthy of being in God's presence or even accepting God's love at times.

PETER AND I

I can't help but to identify with Peter in his wanting Jesus to depart from him after questioning his ability to judge where the fish might be. I found that this passage provoked a spiritual examination of myself as I read it.  How I want to question the direction God is taking me. How I want to depart from what I know is right and go my own way. How I don't want to cast the net of faith in depths of my hardened heart to find what treasure God has in store for me because it might just interfere with my plans for myself or others.

So many times throughout my life I have asked to cast the net and so many times it is a surprise catch, bountiful beyond my imagination.  Yet I still balk. Do I want to be a fisher of men? Do I want to leave everything behind knowing that there will be suffering involved? Most of the time the answer is no. It is here where I find comfort in Peter's humanity. I consider myself strong-willed and also a questioning type.  Jesus said "Do not be afraid."

It is here where I need to cast out my doubts and plunge into the deep. This is a leap of faith for anyone who goes to depths of their heart to find themselves and to ultimately find God. It can be dark as one uncovers their sinfulness, but when they surface they will be in the eternal light.

2 comments:

  1. "I feel so unworthy of being in God's presence or even accepting God's love at times."

    How would you feel if one of your children felt unworthy to be with you, and to accept your love? As a parent, you would be hurt. You would comfort them. You would love them even more.

    This is how God feels about you. He loves you and does not want you to feel unworthy. He forgives you, time and again. He will never send you places on a mission knowing full well you cannot comply. He will never test you beyond your power of endurance.

    I know. I've been there.

    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Victor. It is always comforting that others are walking this path. My spiritual director is always reminding me this as well.

    ReplyDelete

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