Cast Out Into the Deep

UNCLEAN

"Woe is me, I am doomed! For I am a man of unclean lips," states the writer of Isaiah in today's first reading.  We soon find that even though the writer does not feel worthy of being in God's presence, God is ready to send him out after his has been forgiven.  Oh how I identify with him and with Peter in today's Gospel. I feel so unworthy of being in God's presence or even accepting God's love at times.

PETER AND I

I can't help but to identify with Peter in his wanting Jesus to depart from him after questioning his ability to judge where the fish might be. I found that this passage provoked a spiritual examination of myself as I read it.  How I want to question the direction God is taking me. How I want to depart from what I know is right and go my own way. How I don't want to cast the net of faith in depths of my hardened heart to find what treasure God has in store for me because it might just interfere with my plans for myself or others.

So many times throughout my life I have asked to cast the net and so many times it is a surprise catch, bountiful beyond my imagination.  Yet I still balk. Do I want to be a fisher of men? Do I want to leave everything behind knowing that there will be suffering involved? Most of the time the answer is no. It is here where I find comfort in Peter's humanity. I consider myself strong-willed and also a questioning type.  Jesus said "Do not be afraid."

It is here where I need to cast out my doubts and plunge into the deep. This is a leap of faith for anyone who goes to depths of their heart to find themselves and to ultimately find God. It can be dark as one uncovers their sinfulness, but when they surface they will be in the eternal light.