Seasonal Challenges: The Family

NAVIGATING THE SEASON

What better time than to address the word family during the Christmas season. For many uniting with family members brings much joy and happiness especially when members travel for miles to be with their loved ones. The reminiscing of good times and relishing the time together is much cherished. However, for others family time is not so good. Time together brings pain, anger, and a whole host of feelings that not very healthy in the scheme of things. Some people avoid reuniting with family members altogether. Yet as we have heard and read throughout the past weeks, this is a time that we should attempt to reconcile our differences and perhaps start renewing those strained relationships.

It is easy to forget that the Holy Family was not altogether perfect. I am sure that Joseph had his own challenges in trying to provide for his family as well as warding off rumors about his young wife. We don't hear of them, but the fact is that in all families there is usually some type of dissension about certain family members. Mary herself certainly heard rumblings as well. And then there was this child Jesus who would stay behind that one time at the temple while his family left. That incident I am sure provoked rumors. 

THE SOLUTION IS SIMPLE, BUT CHALLENGING

And so we are challenged in our own families of origin to carry on despite the hardships, pain, and backstabbing that occurs. What do we do? The book of Sirach provides some basic guidelines on respect, honor and patience with family members. Perhaps the most challenging line in the reading for me is "My son take care of your father when he is old, grieve him not as long as he lives. Even if his mind fails, be considerate of him; revile him not." My father who died six years ago suffered from Alzheimers and this passage hits home every time I read it. We are asked to be patient and considerate even when some challenges are ongoing and try our strength. I find that in reflecting on this time with my own father I found a patience and compassion I did not know I had.  Although separated by considerable distance and not being able to see him often, I treasured those times with him as difficult as they were especially when he would no longer recognize me. "Whoever honors his father is gladdened by children, and when he prays is heard."

Paul again challenges us with the passage from his letter to the Colossians with "having heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another." Yes forgiving one another, for me the ultimate challenge.  But Paul reminds us to let the peace of Christ control our hearts. So easy to forget during this season.  Letting Christ in and myself out.  Do everything in the Lord. How challenging is that? Using both word and deed the verse continues, Paul encompasses all that the Christmas season is about.

There is no perfect family. We think we see what a family is all about when we see families that seem to have it all together. No Cleaver family exists that I know of. No Wally, no Beaver, no Ward and June. Accepting the family of origin that I have is the key. Yes we have issues, but so does everyone else. The example of the Holy Family is that of faith and accepting the will of God in all situations, both good and bad. Paul reminds us to let the word of God dwell in us. No better way than doing that than attending Mass together, praying together and encouraging each other.