Seasonal Challenges: The Family

NAVIGATING THE SEASON

What better time than to address the word family during the Christmas season. For many uniting with family members brings much joy and happiness especially when members travel for miles to be with their loved ones. The reminiscing of good times and relishing the time together is much cherished. However, for others family time is not so good. Time together brings pain, anger, and a whole host of feelings that not very healthy in the scheme of things. Some people avoid reuniting with family members altogether. Yet as we have heard and read throughout the past weeks, this is a time that we should attempt to reconcile our differences and perhaps start renewing those strained relationships.

It is easy to forget that the Holy Family was not altogether perfect. I am sure that Joseph had his own challenges in trying to provide for his family as well as warding off rumors about his young wife. We don't hear of them, but the fact is that in all families there is usually some type of dissension about certain family members. Mary herself certainly heard rumblings as well. And then there was this child Jesus who would stay behind that one time at the temple while his family left. That incident I am sure provoked rumors. 

THE SOLUTION IS SIMPLE, BUT CHALLENGING

And so we are challenged in our own families of origin to carry on despite the hardships, pain, and backstabbing that occurs. What do we do? The book of Sirach provides some basic guidelines on respect, honor and patience with family members. Perhaps the most challenging line in the reading for me is "My son take care of your father when he is old, grieve him not as long as he lives. Even if his mind fails, be considerate of him; revile him not." My father who died six years ago suffered from Alzheimers and this passage hits home every time I read it. We are asked to be patient and considerate even when some challenges are ongoing and try our strength. I find that in reflecting on this time with my own father I found a patience and compassion I did not know I had.  Although separated by considerable distance and not being able to see him often, I treasured those times with him as difficult as they were especially when he would no longer recognize me. "Whoever honors his father is gladdened by children, and when he prays is heard."

Paul again challenges us with the passage from his letter to the Colossians with "having heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another." Yes forgiving one another, for me the ultimate challenge.  But Paul reminds us to let the peace of Christ control our hearts. So easy to forget during this season.  Letting Christ in and myself out.  Do everything in the Lord. How challenging is that? Using both word and deed the verse continues, Paul encompasses all that the Christmas season is about.

There is no perfect family. We think we see what a family is all about when we see families that seem to have it all together. No Cleaver family exists that I know of. No Wally, no Beaver, no Ward and June. Accepting the family of origin that I have is the key. Yes we have issues, but so does everyone else. The example of the Holy Family is that of faith and accepting the will of God in all situations, both good and bad. Paul reminds us to let the word of God dwell in us. No better way than doing that than attending Mass together, praying together and encouraging each other.

Let's Get Excited Just A Little Bit

GETTING EXCITED ABOUT ADVENT

"I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it." The opening line to the pop hit Let's Get Excited from the Pointer Sisters in 1982. I particularly liked this song because it seemed to bring life to dances and weddings that I attended during that decade. An energy came upon the people and it seemed no one was afraid to demonstrate their dancing abilities good or not.  And here we are at Guadete Sunday not hitting the dance floor, but in full swing of Advent season. For me it is a time of deep reflection about my spiritual path and if I am truly excited about the coming of our Savior.

Just a day ago my adult son asked me if I get excited about anything. He pointed out that I seem to be pretty low key even about the impending trip to see my mother. Over the years he has reminded me that I don't get excited about much, even when our favorite sports teams win a championship. He asked me if I was excited when he and his sister were born. "Of course," I replied and the conversation moved on to my wedding day. "Well, I was too drained to be very excited as I was quite busy with shuttling relatives and picking up arrangements," I responded. No I guess I don't get excited about much or maybe I just am guarded about it.

SO WHY AM I JOYFUL?

So this morning meditating on Paul's message to the Thessalonians (1 THES 5:16) I was once again forced to address the question, " Am I excited about Jesus coming?"  Can I rejoice?  For me this has been a difficult year reckoning with health issues and the general breakdown of our political system and it seems society as a whole. Sometimes I am not in joyful mood. However, at Mass our exuberant pastor told the congregation we should be joyful just being able to celebrate every Sunday. As many of us know celebrating Mass, taking communion, or even professing our Catholic faith, is a danger in some nations around the world. His message struck a chord with me.  I am joyful about the fact I with my family can attend Mass with people who are celebrating the life of Christ. Some of these people have become close friends and have watched my children grow. Others I have bonded with in working together for various groups supporting the parish. I am joyful that I can go to Mass daily if I have the time.  And the list goes on.

READY TO DANCE

I may not be the most excitable person in the world but internally I am joyful when I take the time to reflect. I can't dance with the energy of the Pointer Sisters song anymore, but I can spread my joy in my interactions with family members. Although most of the time begrudgingly I can give thanks in all circumstances for I know that there is reason and season for all things. Perhaps I am also asked to bring joy to others less fortunate in whatever way.  Living in California so many of the citizens have been devastated by the relentless torrent of fires that continue to hamper our state. There are a multitude of opportunities that avail themselves to me if only I pray for the ability to be open to the Spirit.

Finally as I concluded my meditative session in early hours I realized that I am quite joyful about the opportunity of the daily time that God has graced me with in order that I can become closer to him. This alone should be my primary joy. Rejoice always as the Almighty has done great things for me. A consideration as I live out the rest of Advent.

Whose Voice?

By Didier Descouens - Own work, 

Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=57571379

My previous post Awake or Awakened I alluded to  idea that one can be awake but not necessarily awakened. In both the first reading from Isaiah and the Gospel reading from Mark we hear of a voice crying in the wilderness or the desert proclaiming salvation of the people. We hear many voices in our society today, but they seem to be competing with each other and most of them lead us onto roads that usually have dead ends.  I never considered that instead of listening to these voices that I myself am being asked to be the voice. Imagine what the world would be like if we who have traveled the path into the desert which seems to have no return, come back and proclaim the word. We who do not take the easy way out, who have endured trials and tests, yet emerge victorious time and time again raise our voice to proclaim the way. What would the world be like?

As I reflected this morning on my daily meditation, the question was posed, "What is your role in proclaiming the coming of the Lord?" Am I merely awake or have I been awakened to action? Am I the passive listener who internalizes the Word or do I truly live it out? Do I take bold actions in this time of secular relativism and live out my faith so that others can see? The answers to these questions are not easy for me to consider, partly because I know that I am similar to the disciples cowering in the upper room after Jesus ascended in heaven. I am afraid of the world out there, how people will think of me if I take the bold action and truly live out my faith. John the Baptist demonstrated no such fear as far as we know. Emboldened by the Spirit he took action bringing hope to those looking for something better than what they had.

Faith and hope. Two words that are very much part of Scripture and despite the numerous stories of the ancients that due to their faith in God and the hope that God would deliver them, I still waiver.  Yet something in me says there is still reason to move forward. Hope against hope.  Interestingly enough when the word hope is defined in the dictionary, the reader comes upon two definitions for the noun:  archaic hope - a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen; hope - a feeling of trust.  I gravitate towards the second as I have trust/faith in God, but don't like to desire for certain things to happen because as I human I become disillusioned when things don't happen as planned.  For right now I will trust that God can use me as voice to someone, somewhere today, and bring the news of the coming of our Lord. 

So I am off to Mass and today I will be a lector for the first two readings. Although I didn't really think of it until I began writing this piece, I am proclaiming the Good News. Happy Second Sunday of Advent. May this season be filled with hope and may you have the faith of Mary as you await the coming of our Savior.

Awake or Awakened?

AWAKE AND AWAKENED

This morning I was listening to my daily meditative reflection which focused on the Advent theme of being awake. However, it wasn't so much as focusing on us being awake which is important, but trying to find what God has awakened or tried to awaken in the individual over the past year. I particularly like to focus on the present. For one it seems that I don't have a lot of time to focus on the past and two I like many try not to focus on the past as it sometimes brings back memories of my not so best moments.  The reflection really provoked me to search for what has been awakened in me this past year.

I have a tendency to focus on the negative so this was quite challenging. What has been awakened in me? The past year has been quite challenging for me with constant pain due to neck issues that required surgery and then as the recovery process took place back pain that has become chronic and debilitating at times. Knowing that this has caused me considerable of amount of emotional and psychological pain is quite clear. Also knowing that these conditions have affected those around me as well has awakened in me the every burdening defect of self-centeredness. A good thing? Maybe God is utilizing my pain to help me rely more on his grace, to take each day, each hour, each second as a moment of his infinite love for me. Although this is difficult because I don't like pain as it puts a crimp in my plans socially and for physical activities such as cycling which has become a passion of mine.

WHO IS AT THE CONTROLS?

What has awakened in me is a clear sense that I must accept these hardships along with those that affect family members and friends as well. Thus acceptance and surrender are key. I am not in control. Oh, how that pains me to come to that realization. I am a control freak. I like to plan things out whether it be family activities, trips,  long term lesson plans, life, and the list goes on. I become agitated when the train derails or takes an alternative route. Conceptually I know that God is in control and the more I turn over my plans, my health, and my life to him things will turn out well.

Spiritually, I always find these life challenges difficult. I like to think that my road map will bring me what is best for me. However, I am usally wrong. Left to my own plans the vehicle would have long gone off the road, the keys would have been taken away, and I would be walking by myself on a road to nowhere to quote the Talking Heads song.

In these early morning moments I am able to find what I think God is trying to reveal to me. Having a deeper sense of being awakened, I resolve to reflect this Advent season on what has been awakened in me and at the same time stay awake for what will be revealed.