Reflections on Spiritual Circuitry

SPIRITUAL CIRCUITRY

I wrote earlier today of trying to carry out the message of Jesus in today's readings. But as I sat in church before Mass the following thoughts came to me.  A circuit firing if you would.  Fortunately I had my Mass journal with me as I do every Sunday to make note anything that would deepen my spiritual journey. So here are my thoughts that I jotted down as I reflected on what was to be read later on in the Mass. Some of these musings were the benefit of an earlier meditation.

A light can only function if its circuitry is properly connected. Thus I cannot be a light if God has chosen me if my wires are crossed or disconnected (sin). Reflecting on this I can see that God had a road for me to take, but He allowed me to journey along other roads which led to despair and emptiness. My circuitry need to be properly wired or replaced before He sent me on my way to do His will.

REPLACING THE FAULTY BULB

This all made sense as I wrote for I needed to replace a faulty head lamp on my car as it was dimming to the point of barely being seen. For fear of being pulled over I headed to the local auto parts store to buy a replacement.  If a bulb burns out it is need of a replacement. Spiritually speaking one must make their way to the store (God) for prayer, a retreat, or reconciliation and become reenergized. A flickering light is usually losing its power and is no longer a source of light. The same can be said for one's spiritual journey.

In looking at a light switch when it is turned on the power surges through the wires to light up a room that may be dim or completely dark. When the circuitry is opened up I can provide light to others, but when my circuit is off I then provide doom, darkness and despair.

PARADOX: FINDING LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS OF REFLECTION

Given to reflection and meditation at times can bring the darkness of anger, resentment and a whole host of other sins. This was brought to light by our pastor this morning. But as he said if we are open to God's light the areas that need to be addressed the most in our lives are revealed.  Thus the paradox of finding light. The circuit is shut off, the room is dark, the mind swimming in the abyss. Suddenly a an area of our life that is need of work is revealed.  

Making the changes in these areas is similar to that of changing faulty wires. The bulb burns brighter perhaps not as 20 watts, or 30 watts, but as a floodlight. This is God working through us. If we look at today's Gospel, we have been washed by this mixture of dirt and water so that we can better see. The scales have fallen off the eyes so that we can see as God wants us to. But as with anything God provides it is contingent upon on our spiritual health. Rewiring and changes bulbs is always prudent when one feels dim and or is misfiring.  And yes I successfully replaced my head lamp with the assistance of  a YouTube video. 

Walking in the Light

THE CHALLENGE OF LIVING IN THE LIGHT

One of most challenging things I find in living out the Gospels is to be a child of light.  Today's Gospel passage reinforces the task of living a Christian life. Most people are familiar with the storyline of how Jesus puts mud on the man's eyes, sends him to the Pool of Siloam, and the man returns being able to see. The passage provides a variety of lessons for those struggling to live out the Gospel, beginning with doubting the power of Christ, fear of acknowledging Christ, and an opportunity to examine our conscience as Christians.      

  DOUBTING JESUS

Subsequent passages focus on the Pharisees questioning the man  as to who healed him, then going to the man's parents, and a second time back to man still refusing to believe that Jesus could do such a thing. The poor man states at one point incredulously, "If this man were not of God, he would not be able to do anything." Definitely worth pondering. Despite hearing of miracles and maybe observing how others have been transformed we can still doubt the power of God.

But lost in this passage is the exchange of the man's parents with the Jews in which they after being questioned about their son's blindness reply, "Ask him, his is of age; he can speak for himself." (JN 9:21) This response was made because the parents were afraid that if they acknowledged the power of Christ their son would be expelled from the synagogue. Here lies the challenge. I find that is easier for me to ignore the teachings and the task of living out the Word of God especially when confronted with difficult conversations with colleagues, friends and family for fear of what might be said about me or what actions people might take if I do speak up. I am much like the parents with one exception, I am protecting myself.

FEAR OF LIVING IN THE LIGHT

Paul exhorts us to live as children of light. If I am trapped in my fear of how people might judge me according to my actions and words I am thus in the dark.  I am not allowing the power of the Holy Spirit to shine through. I am much like clouds that gradually cover the moonlight.
Each subsequent action in which I am given an opportunity to speak or demonstrate the power of the living Christ and instead cover my eyes with the mud of darkness as if not to acknowledge the way of light, I become like the Pharisees.
Blinded by my own fear and insecurities I can find only one hope. I must awake from my internal darkness and allow Christ to give me light.

LEARN WHAT IS PLEASING TO THE LORD

Paul again in Ephesians prods the early Christians to learn what is pleasing to the Lord (EPH 5:10).  He tells them to expose the works of darkness. First I begin with myself. Some of my thoughts I would rather not acknowledge to anyone, but here is where the Sacrament of Reconciliation is so liberating once taken seriously (for I did not always do so).  Freed of the bondage of sin I become empowered with the true Light.  Despite the crashing waves around me of worldly chaos and general abhorrence of Church teachings I can become a light to others as Christ will give me light. One cannot walk in darkness unless they have light. 

 

The Remedy for Self-Service

THE GOOD OLD DAYS

Does anyone remember the days at the gas station when an attendant would come out and clean your windshield with a squeegee and fill up the tank in your vehicle? Or when you actually did not see any self-checkout registers in stores? How about actually standing in line at the bank before their were ATMs?  Yes we have become self-sufficient to a fault. We are in control and no longer have to depend on anyone or so we think.

TITLES

Jesus admonishes both the crowds and his disciples not become dependent on their own self-worth and lust for recognition, but instead to serve others. Don't follow the example of the scribes and Pharisees (MT 23:1-2).  Don't be called Rabbi or Master he continues.

Who doesn't like titles of prominence. As a person who has taught in Mexico I liked the sound of the word "Profe" or "maestro" in Spanish as it made me feel like a true professor or teacher. Likewise the term licensiado was equally endearing as it was given to teachers who had advanced degrees. But for a person who likes recognition and titles this can be a dangerous road.

A EARLY MORNING THOUGHT

After my daily morning reading I read a meditative passage from Luis Maria Martinez found in the month's edition of the Magnifcat (1). The focus was that we are in continual ascendency to God, but in order to continue this trajectory we must descend. Descending into nothingness was the term used. Quite a contrast to the idea of self-dependency projected upon us today.  But as Archbishop Martinez so well conveys the spiritual life is one of constant descent in order for God's light to shine through.

I can easily bring to mind moments of in my own life in which I found the proverbial darkness. It was soon after that I found the light of God's grace in my innate smallness. The events leading to this were full of self-serving and self-sufficiency. The societal message of becoming the master of your domain rang quite true for myself.  I was filling up on me at the gas pump. I was at the ATM withdrawing bills of myself.  I was as Jesus said wanting to be exalted, not willing to serve others.  But the paradox was for in order for me to grow spiritually I had to continue the descent in order to look up. Placing myself on a equal footing with God did not allow for any true light to shine. Instead I was looking down unaware that the light could not shine in because it was blocked by the cloud.

SPIRITUAL LIFE

For me the spiritual life is many moments spent surrendering to the will of God. It is about making myself small and allowing the Father, Son and Holy Spirit to loom large or as John the Baptist so well put it, I must decrease so that He may increase. It is as Archbishop Martinez states "one can see God better from below."(1)  Looking up I can observe the life that God has created around me. Spiritual life is all about growth. Growth can only come with failures and the recognition that things are broken.

NO LONGER BEING SERVED, BUT SERVING

So taking a page from the gas attendant, the checker, and teller, I must put myself in a position to serve. Taking time to fill others with blessings (GN 12:3).  Helping with weight of the bags that others are carrying and filling others with the currency of life are probably a good start.

And yes I do sometimes long for those days for someone to clean my windshield and fill up the gas tank. Where have those days gone?







1. Martinez, Luis M., Archbishop. "Whoever Humbles Self." Magnificat Mar. 2017: 188-89. Web. 

He Saved Us and Called Us to a Holy Life

BECOMING TRANSFIGURED

The transfiguration passage in today's Gospel provided plenty for me to think about this morning.  The term transfigured from Merriam Webster's dictionary reads, "transform into something more beautiful or elevated." I would like to focus on the idea of transfiguration from the standpoint of how Jesus can transfigure a sinner like myself. 

In Paul's letter to Timothy, Paul states that "we are saved and called to a holy life."(2 TM 1:8b-10) 
Being holy is not something I find easy let alone living a holy life. My daily struggles to live a life as such bring on despair and frustration.  But it is this passage that I can find the connection with the word transfiguration and Paul's discourse on holy life.  If one reads the rest of the passage, Paul writes, "not according to our works but according to his design and the grace bestowed upon us. 

HANDS OFF THE WHEEL                                                                                                                       

By Grendelkhan (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

I interpret that as I cannot be transfigured unless I allow God to drive the car. Yes God's design not mine. This is my stumbling block. Taking my hands off the wheel and using God's navigation system.  I like most people like to drive on trips and in every day situations. I find myself applying the brakes from the passenger seat even when others drive. There is just a part of me that doesn't trust someone else at the wheel. Moreover, I prefer my navigation system, as I seem to know how to get to the desired destination. A quick diagnostic reveals that my system has led me down a myriad of dead ends. This is where God takes over. 

TRUST

In the first reading today Abram is instructed by the Lord to leave his surroundings with a promise of greatness and blessings.  The key to this passage is that Abram went as the Lord directed him. ( GN 12:1-4) Here is where the transfiguration begins. Abram went without questioning, without grabbing steering wheel or in his case the reins of the animal that we take him on his journey. He was compliant seeking only to do God's will.  This in itself led him to a more holier life.

ON THE MOUNTAIN TOP

In order to climb a mountain one must not become discouraged as they view the path ahead. Crooked trails, steep inclines, rocky paths all stand in the way of the final goal. As a cyclist who has climbed some moderate inclines I know that is quite easy to become discouraged and want to turn back especially as the legs and mind become fatigued. What pushes one on to the destination? Perseverance and the promise of the glory of achievement once the top is reached. The same can be said for the spiritual journey. 

Faith as demonstrated by Abram requires perseverance and trust that God knows the road best.  Letting God guide us according to his design and taking into consideration that he already has the road mapped out for us long before we came into being is of consolation. Likewise knowing that he also allows for us to take wrong turns and we may fall along the way makes us understand that we are human. 

Ultimately we reach the mountain top, become fully transfigured according to his design, and attain the goal of holiness. It is then that we can see Jesus fully in the light along with Peter, James, John, Moses and Elijah. Thus our quest is complete.  

Voices of Temptation, Voices of Good

VOICES OF TEMPTATION, VOICES OF GOOD

For years the idea that one could hear the voice of God was lost upon me. I can attest that I never really considered that God could talk to me through the voice of the Holy Spirit. Moreover, I never wanted to hear the voice of the Spirit as my life was drowned out by much larger voices of desire and fulfilling my wants.

THE EASY WAY OUT

As we begin Lent, we are faced with many temptations or if one would like to use the term, voices. These are the voices of the Tempter. Taking Lent seriously and truly making sacrifices is challenging as well. The voice of the Tempter tells us to take the easy way out and make some minuscule attempt to give up something that is not even a challenge after all. You know what I am talking about here. 

In doing so one minimizes the reliance on God.  

In Deuteronomy we hear of the Hebrews wandering for forty years, hungry and afflicted by various tests in order not to rely on bread alone, but on God. As a person who struggles with overeating especially when I am not feeling good about myself or dealing with long periods of recovery from injuries, this is very real.  As an endurance cyclist eating properly is key to a good performance. Unfortunately when I am off the bike as I am now for months eating can be a problem. Food is comforting and readily accessible.

The voice of the Tempter is always talking. "Have another piece of this or another serving of that. " Robotically I conform and follow.  I am great at rationalizing why I can have another serving as well. But afterwards aware of my action, I am then angry at myself. The more difficult challenge is to ask God for help to overcome this temptation. The Tempter loves this behavior. The self-loathing leads me farther away from God and to despair. From that point the behavior is minimized to the point where it is not even challenged. 

THE TEMPTER

The first reading today is another view of man being overcome with the voice of the Tempter. "Surely you will not die," says the serpent as Eve is challenged. No I won't die if I give in to the voice as well to judge someone in my midst, lust after power, something or someone or take an extra serving. The paradox is that I do die. Each time I succumb to these temptations I am separating myself from God. It is so easy for  me to reduce these actions to nothing.

Persistence in prayer is key. Each temptation must be confronted head on and with persistence. I can imagine Jesus being confronted with temptation and praying consistently with the words, "Not mine, but thy will be done."

HOPE

I can't even imagine Jesus in the desert for forty days fasting when I cannot go a day unless under medical orders. But here is where the solution lies. Stripped down to nothing but his reliance on his Father. Jesus triumphs over every temptation cast at him.  Here is where there is hope for a sinner like myself. 

One, I am not Jesus so I accept the fact that I will fail at times.  The Tempter may try to induce me with the idea that I need to be perfect. This in itself is a recipe for failure.  However, I can rely on the fact that with God I can repent just as the Hebrews did numerous times in the desert. 

Two, during Lent I can fast from not only food, but judging ( a real character defect of mine). I can also fast from social media that provokes my anger and there is no shortage of that. I decided to try something a little different and also refrain from news shows that arouse anger and resentment which is also quite challenging. In place of this I will write, read spiritual books or even pray for those I judge.  Calling on the Holy Spirit in times of weakness certainly helps.

VOICE OF GOOD

 I have also found that I do hear that small voice that reminds me in moments of weakness of my Lenten observation. The paradox that this my food. I can feed off the voice of the Spirit. I can feed off the hope that Jesus overcame the temptations and gain strength in each temptation. I can feed in the voice of good. I can feed off of the Bread of Life.