Pray That You Will Have Strength

As a child I used to read some comic books of the Archie variety as well as some religious comics from the Cross and Switchblade series by David Wilkerson.  The Cross and Switchblade series had an indelible mark on my juvenile mind.  I remember the vivid images of the final days from the book of Revelation and I was quite convinced that I did not have a chance to withstand the final test.  This thought became embedded in my juvenile mind and was carried with me deep into my adulthood. I just wasn't worthy of the fruits of heaven.  The book of Daniel brought back those memories, but thanks be to God, my spiritual life has changed. Mired in the infantile faith of my childhood I wandered further and further away from my faith. I attended Mass, but did not hear. I prayed, but with empty words. I called upon God, but was not willing to give up my life and brokenness to Him.  The spiritual drowsiness mentioned in Luke had consumed me.  So what changed?

At some point deep in my adult life I awoke from the slumber that had consumed me.  The shackles that kept me imprisoned with those images of a Zeus like God were broken. Realizing that God was not the punisher, but indeed did love me as I was indeed true. The Jesus prayer that I recited so many times was a reality now.  Yes, he did have mercy on me a sinner.  No longer do most of the anxieties of life hold me hostage. Being vigilant as Luke's Gospel advises is paramount in the life of this sinner. Borrowing  a phrase from a 14th century homily "a man is in a state of damnation before he begins his prayer, and before he is finished in a state of salvation." (Magnificat November 2015, p 394). Calling on intercessions from Mary and the saints I pray that I will have strength to stand the tribulations of the day, but before the Son of Man.