Pray That You Will Have Strength

As a child I used to read some comic books of the Archie variety as well as some religious comics from the Cross and Switchblade series by David Wilkerson.  The Cross and Switchblade series had an indelible mark on my juvenile mind.  I remember the vivid images of the final days from the book of Revelation and I was quite convinced that I did not have a chance to withstand the final test.  This thought became embedded in my juvenile mind and was carried with me deep into my adulthood. I just wasn't worthy of the fruits of heaven.  The book of Daniel brought back those memories, but thanks be to God, my spiritual life has changed. Mired in the infantile faith of my childhood I wandered further and further away from my faith. I attended Mass, but did not hear. I prayed, but with empty words. I called upon God, but was not willing to give up my life and brokenness to Him.  The spiritual drowsiness mentioned in Luke had consumed me.  So what changed?

At some point deep in my adult life I awoke from the slumber that had consumed me.  The shackles that kept me imprisoned with those images of a Zeus like God were broken. Realizing that God was not the punisher, but indeed did love me as I was indeed true. The Jesus prayer that I recited so many times was a reality now.  Yes, he did have mercy on me a sinner.  No longer do most of the anxieties of life hold me hostage. Being vigilant as Luke's Gospel advises is paramount in the life of this sinner. Borrowing  a phrase from a 14th century homily "a man is in a state of damnation before he begins his prayer, and before he is finished in a state of salvation." (Magnificat November 2015, p 394). Calling on intercessions from Mary and the saints I pray that I will have strength to stand the tribulations of the day, but before the Son of Man.

Are You Attached?

As a consumer in a culture that promotes rampant consumption today's Gospel reading can be quite challenging.  I think that this is best put in the context in today's meditation from the Magnificat in which Fr. Tadeusz Dajczer states in the opening of the passage "an obvious sign of attachments is also your sadness in situations when God takes something away from you.  It is so easy to be consumed by the desire to buy more than what I need, to eat more than my fill, to work for the extra dollar in order to have more and to be driven by a whole myriad of desires that divorce myself from the will of God.

Having had plenty of these life experiences to only find emptiness in the dark recesses of my soul, did the idea that I was actually seeking God come upon me after many years. The desire of fulfillment, power, and prestige left a void in my life time and time again. Who and what could fill that? Consumed by this obsession and earthly desires separated me from true union with my Creator. Becoming resentful when life challenges did not turnout, I was truly blinded by my attachments to certain situations and my enslavement to materialism. Little did I realize that God was indeed working to free me from these obsessions, that there was a freedom that only He in his infinite mercy could provide.  Working more to obtain the precious dollar only brought more enslavement to workaholism and culture of consumption.

What changed this?  Having been awakened to the concept that an attachment to God and a disciplined spiritual life, only then did I gradually realize that I could not serve God and mammon. There are still life struggles and the desire to have more financial fulfillment in order to provide for the family, children's college costs, retirement, and a host of other challenges. When the temptation to be consumed by these occur, I try to look to God in prayer and as Fr. Dajczer states that these moments are actually grace filled as our Lord is giving us a chance to cleanse ourselves in order to be closer to him. Yes being separated from all things earthly is difficult, but the reward outweighs the cost.  True union with my Father - an attachment forever.